Collin P.O.V
Pt.2
“Dude you need a break. Going to Virginia will only piss you off, come with the boys’ and I to Oregon. We’re driving there staying three weeks in the woods, with nothing but our survival skills.”
I held my phone in my hands, and chuckled a bit, “What survival skills?”
“Exactly, that’s why we need you.” he leaned against the dresser which is void of clothes, reminding me of my daughter, although he is reminding me my entire life will be involved either paying child support, or living a life with Tessa and Iris, never getting a break.
If I take a break now I could get my head straight, I could think about what I really want, or if the so called ”Destiny" was mistaken putting the wrong person in my life. “Fine, I’ll go. But I’m taking the Jeep.” I got up from my bed and started packing my bags, Chris left leaving me to gather all the things before they circle around and come back to my place, splitting up the people, and the food/camping things.
_______
Arrived in the Oregon Woods
“Don’t get me wrong, but we couldn’t pick a warmer time of year to come? It’s freezing.” Talen mentioned while the sleet of snow cover the ground.
“Good thing I brought a heater.” Bowden said, lifting the heater up and out of the car.
“And we have the logs that weren’t wet, and the ones we bought at the store, plus the gas jugs?” I said, having Talen confirm which he did.
As everyone was removing the items from the car and setting up the fire, I set up the tent, being that I’m somehow the only one who knows how to set it up. I fish the tent poles through the holes, allowing the tent to stand up tall, it’s a huge tent, and expensive, but it’s insulated and fits seven people. I have a bunch of tents in the garage back at home, there’s one small enough for Iris when she gets older and I have a bunch from all the times we forgot a tent when Jason was still alive and we would take a lot more of these trips with him.
“Collin, we have chicken, and noodles for tonight and you’re the only one who can cook, hurry up with the tent and heating up the inside so we can eat.”
“Just put the noodles in the pot with water and put it over the fire, it’s simple.” I walked inside the tent and turned the heater on, Sitting down where my sleeping bag is going through the series of thoughts in my head.
Was the first time me and Tessa met a mistake? Was it supposed to be someone else there? We lied to each other right then and there and it didn’t stop not until Tessa got pregnant, then we started lying about other things, I started to lie about my feelings for her.
But Iris, Iris was my blessing, she was everything I could’ve hoped for, someone to care for, someone I could love forever, no threat or emanate danger to loving her. Although without Tessa, without the love I grew for her, Iris wouldn’t be here.
I do love Tessa, I love her body, I love her personality, her kindness, the way she holds herself up when people bring her down, and her only weakness was needing someone when I wasn’t there.
That’s what makes me angry. The doctor was there, used her when she was at her lowest, when she needed me, but I was the problem, she couldn’t cry to me and, I couldn’t hold her.
I’m sure she needs me now, I can’t hold her, I can’t love her, and I can’t cry with her either. We’re separated, many states in between us, Iris crying out for me to hold her, my heart waiting to be filled by her and Tessa the loves of my life.
One love I don’t think I can save like I could the other countless times.
I walked out of the tent and closed the zipper behind me, the boys surrounded by the fire that keeps us warm, the chicken currently burning on one side, my inner chef in me, put a few pinches of fresh snow in the pan, adding oil and spices, I put some tomato slices in there while also stirring the pasta.
There is no way I’m going to spend the next few weeks eating garbage, while freezing my A** off in the g*d da*n snow.
“So, now that all of us are up here, I have something to tell you all, I’ve been hiding it from you all because I would rather die in a beautiful scenery.” Chris said.
“This sounds all too familiar.” I said as I hovered over the fire cooking the dinner that’s going to allow us to enjoy this trip.
“It’s not what you think, it has to do with all of us.”
“Now we’re really having Deja vu.” Talen added, his small lean body shivering trying to warm up.
“I got us a gig, and there’s a lead singer that can fill in for this. It’s the memorial for Jason. I wanted to do this since we’re all going separate ways, like this camping trip, we haven’t done it since he died. Collin you’ve got a kid, a girlfriend, and you’re becoming a freakin FBi agent, Talen, you’re engaged to be married, Bowden you’re moving to paris to launch your modeling career, Cameron you’re becoming a doctor in a few months, Isaiah, you’re a news reporter sleeping with your boss, and Jordan, you’re joining the freakin army. We all are going somewhere else and we won’t be able to get together unless we do this.”
“I don’t even remember how to play the drums, or any of the songs we played back in high school, it won’t work.”
“Well your girlfriend told me you play the drums a lot, especially to Iris.”
“Collins right. None of us remember our songs from High school and none of really have the time, Chris.”
Chris stood up, and started getting frustrated. “It’s one day of the year and you guys won’t do it? It’s for Jason! We stopped everything after he died, and we’re only friends because of him, we need to continue everything we did before he died.”
I finished the dinner and put the plates in their laps, along with a fork, but what he was saying was actual making since. “I’ll do it. In honor of Jason, I’ll do it.”
the rest of the guys slowly warmed up to the idea, and we continued the night talking about Jason, but all I was thinking about what the way I could change my relationship with Tessa. Or do I really want to be with her.