Chapter 45
Doctor
Pagkababa ko mula sa eroplano ay ang init ng panahon ng Pinas at ang hangin na siyang nagpalipad ng iilan sa mga hibla ng buhok ko. I took my sunglasses and put it on my head, and roamed around my eyes on the surroundings.
The airport of Gensan did really change a lot after ten years, huh. Hindi ito ganito ka ganda noong iniwanan ko ito pero ngayon ay naging maganda na.
“Welcome home, Henzy,” I whispered to myself.
Because the sun was too hot and it made my skin hurt a little, Ry offered me an umbrella. Nang akmang kukunin ko na sa kaniya ang payong para ako na ang magbubukas ay siya na mismo ang nagbukas nito at bigla akong nilapit sa kaniya para dalawa kami ang makapagsilong.
I felt his hands softly enveloped my waist, and I didn’t mind it. Masyadong mainit ngayon kaya ako na rin ang kusang lumapit sa kaniya and besides, we often did this back in Seattle.
Ry, was sometimes touchy at nakasanayan ko na rin ang pagiging touchy niya at wala rin namang ibang dahilan pa sa akin ‘yon.
We’re friends, after all.
“Some girls at the plane earlier were kept looking at you,” I told him.
Mahinang tinawanan niya lang at sinabi ko at mas lalong hinapit ang bewang ko papalapit sa kaniya, “Hanggang titig lang naman sila, ‘di naman nila ako malapitan.”
“Paano ka lalapitan kung palagi ka na lang nakasunod sa akin?” I joked.
“I like following and obeying your orders, Henz,” simpleng sagot niya.
Kinurot ko siya sa tagiliran niya kaya medyo napadaing siya, “Kung makasabi ka parang ginawa kitang katulong ha.”
“Hindi ba?” pabiro niya ring tanong sa akin.
“Aba! Kung sapakin kaya kita sa mukha mo para kahit papaano madungisan naman ‘yang gwapo mong mukha,” I sarcastically said.
“Ito naman ‘di mabiro. Pero seryoso kasi mas gusto kong palagi na sinusundan ka,” he mumbled.
“Kung palagi mo akong susundan sige ka baka hindi ka na makahanap ng girlfriend n’yan,” I teased him.
Sinirado na niya ang payong na dala namin at binalik sa mga crew. Pumasok kami sa loob ng airport para kunin ang mga bagahe namin. Hindi naman marami ang mga tao ngayon pero ang mga kamay niya sa bewang ko ay hindi pa niya inaalis kaya ako na ang kusang nag-alis no’n.
Nasanay siguro siya sa ginagawa niya sa akin nang nasa Seattle pa kami. Kasi sa tuwing pumupunta kami sa crowded places ay minsan nawawala ako at hindi ko na alam ang daan pabalik, kaya kapag alam niyang maraming mga tao ang pinuntahan namin ay hinahapit na niya ako papalapit sa kaniya para hindi ako makawala.
And I got used to it, but this time there’s no need for him to do this since it’s not that crowded, and besides, we’re already in the Philippines, so I am much very familiar with the place.
While we are waiting for our baggage to come out in a baggage carousel, he answered me, “Nah… having a girlfriend isn’t my priority right now, and besides, I am waiting for someone.”
Nakatayo lang kami doon habang hinihintay na lumabas ang aming mga bagahe at nang hindi pa lumalabas ang amin ay tinignan ko siya ng deretso sa kaniyang mga mata at sinagot ng nakasimagot.
“You know what, Ry? We’ve been together for many years, but still, that someone you are talking about is still a mystery to me.”
Sa ilang taon naming pagsasama ay kahit ni minsan ay wala siyang binanggit na mga babaeng nagugustuhan niya. Kahit nga noong nasa med school pa kami ay wala siyang natitipuhan. Girls would flock at him because of his features, yet none of those he entertained them.
Ang tanging mga kasama niya lang noon ay ako at ang iba pa naming naging mga kaibigan doon. He’s friendly, and everybody loves him there kaso pagdating sa mga natitipuhan ay wala talaga siyang sinasabi sa amin.
Though, naalala ko pa ‘yong sinabi niya sa akin dati.
“Sino ba kasi siya at bakit ayaw mo siyang ipakilala sa akin?” pang-uusisa ko pa.
He put his righ hand on the pocket of his jeans and look at our baggage. Nang mamataan na niya ang mga bagahe namin ay inihanda na niya ang kaniyang sarili sa pagkuha nito.
I have three items of baggage while he has only one. At sakto kasi sunod-sunod ang mga bagahe namin at hindi na namin kailangang maghintay pa ulit.
The veins on his arms were protruding as he carries the bigger baggage I have. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi maidako ang mga mata ko sa kamay niyang napakaganda. Ry has a fair white skin kaya klarong-klaro talaga ang mga ugat sa kaniyang kamay and I can’t help but admire them for no reason at all.
Nang ma kompleto na ang mga bagahe namin ay nilagay niya ito sa cart para hindi kami mahirapan sa pagdala papalabas. I was about to push the cart when his hand accidentally slips on mine.
Our hands stay together on the handle of the pushcart for a second. Nang nakaramdam ako ng tila parang kuryente na dumaloy sa katawan ko ay dali-dali ko itong inalis at nginitian siya na parang wala akong naramdaman.
“U-uhmm… I’m sorry,” I apologized without knowing the reason why it came from my mouth. I feel like I was obligated to say it.
Para saan ‘yon Henzy? Why would you feel that way? It’s not the first time that I held hands with him and all of those were just friendly actions, so why would I feel it now?
“No, it’s fine, Henzy. Where are we?” bigla niyang tanong.
Tumikhim ako. “I said, who’s the girl that you like, and why are you not introducing her to me?”
We walked through the exit door, and I heard some murmurs coming from other girls about how gorgeous this man beside me. I can’t help but smile at the admiration they have for him. Kung alam niyo lang abot hanggang Seattle ang kagwapohan ni Ry.
“It’s still not the right time, and someday, when she’s ready, I will introduce you to her.” Napaangat ako nang tingin sa kaniya at nakita ko ang malapad niyang ngiti na abot hanggang tenga niya. His eyes were also expressive as we talked about the girl he likes, making me curious even more.
“Ang pa showbiz mo, Ry! You’re making me curious!”
He deeply chuckled and tapped my head, “It’s not the right time pa nga, Henzy. When she’s ready to open her heart again, you’re the first one that will meet her.”
I rolled my eyes at him, and he just laughed at my reactions. Grabe talaga ‘tong lalaki na ‘to napaka secretive pagdating sa babaeng gusto niya.
“Sige ka, baka sa kakahintay mo sa kaniya ay maunahan ka nang iba,” I threatened him, “and also, you’ve been waiting for her for how many years already. Grabe naman ang paghihintay mo walang katapusan ha,” dagdag ko pa.
“There’s no deadline in waiting. And yes, I waited for her for how many years because she has someone she loved that time, but now that I know there’s no one in her heart right now, I still have my chance. I am ready to confess my love for her, but the problem is she’s not ready to love again,” he said, still smiling from ear to ear.
“Kaya kapag alam kong handa na siya ay ipapakilala ko na siya sa’yo,” he continued.
And that made me curious even more. All the times that we’ve been together, he doesn’t really talk about that girl. I will either be the one to open it up for him or our friends in Seattle. They were also curious about his love life kasi palagi na lang daw nakabuntot si Ry sa akin.
“Talaga lang ha? Baka naman kapag naging kayo na kakalimutan mo na ako,” pabiro kong tampo at nginusuan siya.
He sealed my lips using his hand, and I am like a duck in front of him now dahil sa nguso ko.
“That will never happen, Henzy.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” he uttered and smile.
That day, we separated our ways after they drove me home. Papa and Yesha couldn’t fetch me at my arrival since my father was busy in hospital and Yesha have an exam.
After she died, papa and Yesha decided to transfer here to Gensan. They couldn’t move on from what happened, and that house reminds every bit of her. When I heard the news about them leaving from our old house, I realized that I became selfish. I left them here hanging. I left my sister in pain.
I wasn’t the only one who suffered from her loss. I was too preoccupied way back that I forgot they were also suffering. Sarili ko lang ang inisip ko no’n at agad na tinaggap ang offer ni ate Shiela na sumama sa kaniya. I forgot that I have my sister here, yet she still supported my decision.
And right after I left them, they also left our house there. Tanging may caretaker lang ang namamahala doon ngayon.
According to Yesha, that house was too painful to watch because mom wasn’t here already. Kaya naisipan ni papa na magpatayo ng bahay dito and also, may branch na ang hospital na pag-aari ni papa kaya dito na ako mag ta-trabaho kasabay ang mga kaibigan ko.
Nang makita ako ni ate Nena sa labay ay pinagbuksan niya agad ako ng gate. Nang makita na niya ako sa malapitan ay tila hindi siya makapaniwala na nakatayona ako sa harap niya dahil sa laki ng mga mata niya at biglang pagbuka ng bibig niya.
“Ikaw na ‘yan Henzy?!” she almost shouted.
I can’t help, but to roared a laugh at her reaction right now. Para siyang nakakita ng multo dahil gulat na gula siya.
“Yes ate, ako ‘to,” I spread my arms widely, and she quickly hugs me.
“Grabe! Ang tagal-tagal nang hindi kita nakita! Mas lalo kang gumanda ngayon, Henzy! At parang tumaas ka na rin!”
Kinalas na niya ang pagkakayakap sa akin at pinagmasdan ako ulit mula ulo hanggang paa.
“Ate, ako pa rin naman ‘to si Henzy. Walang nagbago sa akin,” natatawa kong ani.
“Grabe ang ganda mo na. Kamusta ka na? Mananatili ka na ba dito? Hindi ka na babalik sa ibang bansa?” sunod-sunod niyang tanong.
Masayang tumango ako sa kaniya, “Oo ate. Mananatili na ako dito kasi dito na rin ako mag ta-trabaho,” sagot ko.
“Mabuti naman at kung ganoon!”
Pumasok na kami sa loob at pinaghanda ako ni ate ng pagkain. Tamang-tama at gutom ako kasi hindi ko kinain ang pagkain sa eroplano kanina. Ang weird ko lang siguro kasi hindi ko gusto ang mga sine-serve nilang pagkain kaya nawawalan ako ng gana.
We talked a lot of stuff lalo na kung ano ang naging ganap nang lumipat sila dito.
“Simula noong lumipat kami dito mas lalong naging busy si Sir. Palagi ako ang kasama ni Yesha tuwing kumakain kami kasi hindi na siya nasasabayan ni, Sir,” pagke-kwento niya.
Medyo sumakit ang puso ko sa narinig ko kay ate Nena. I feel guilty cause all these years, Yesha was all alone. Wala ako sa tabi niya nang mga panahon na ‘yon dahil mas inuna ko ang aking sarili.
“Bakit pala hindi sumama si Yesha sa inyo no’n?”
“Ayaw niyang iwan si papa noon ate. Gusto niyang manatili sa tabi nito lalo na at kakamatay lang ni mama,” mahina kong sagot.
“How is she right now ate? She’s doing good, right?”
Nang pinakitaan ako ng ngiti ni ate ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag.
“Maayos naman siya at masaya. Hind rin naman siya nagtanim ng galit sa’yo,” nakangiting sabi ni ate.
Mas gumaan ang pakiramdam ko ng malaman na hindi siya nagtanim ng galit sa akin. Palagi ko naman siyang kausap sa viber noon at maayos naman niya akong pakitunguhan. Pero siyempre iba pa rin kapag ikaw na mismo ang nakakaranas.
After we talked a bit ay umakyat na ako sa kwarto ko na itinuro ni ate Nena sa akin. Si Yesha raw ang ang nag disenyo ng kwarto ko kaya paniguradong magugustuhan ko raw ito.
Right, Yesha is studying Architecture. Matagal ko ng napansin ang pagkahumaling niya sa arts and design, and I am glad that she pursues what she wanted to be.
Nang makapasok na ako sa loob ay napamangha ako dahil sa ginawa niya sa kwarto ko. The wall and ceiling were painted with cream white and a queen size bed place in the middle. There’s a hanging table upside on my bed where she puts some of my portraits. Mayroon ding mga hanging plants siya na pinatong doon kaya napakaganda tingnan.
Everything about my room is designed with nature. She did really know what I liked. Akala ko ay kailangan ko pang ipaayos ang kwarto ko kaso hindi na pala kasi nandito ang kapatid ko.
I took a picture of my room and posted it on my IG. Bago kami lumpiad pabalik dito ay in-activate ko na lahat ng mga deactivated social media accounts ko. I just archived some photos that aren’t necessary at all.
Nakaramdam na ako ng pagod kaya gusto ko ng matulog ng biglang nag ring cellphone ko.
“Hello?” pagod ko itong sinagot. Pagkatapos kong magbihis ay humiga na ako sa kama at ang lambot nito ay siyang mas lalong nagpa-antok sa akin.
“Henzy. You’re still not asleep?” boses ni Ry ang bumungad sa akin at ewan ko kung bakit ako napangiti.
“Matutulog pa lang. Nakipagchika pa ako kay ate Nena kanina. Ikaw? You’re home na?” nakapikit kong sabi.
“Oo pero kailangan ko pang sunduin si mama sa trabaho niya. Gusto niyang mag half-day ngayon kasi nakauwi na raw ako,” sagot niya.
“Oh? Bakit ka napatawag sa akin?” nanghihina na ang boses ko kasi gustong-gusto ko na talagang matulog.
“I just want to update you,” he simply uttered kaya napamulat ako.
Nakakunot ang noo ko kahit na hindi naman niya ako nakikita at sinagot siya, “Update me? Ano mo ako jowa?”
“Bakit sa jowa lang ba pwede mag update, Henzy? ‘Di ba pwede sa kaibigan?” I can picture out his face, rising his brows at me.
“Bakit ina-update mo ba iba nating mga kaibigan noon ha?” pambabara ko, “ako lang ata ang ina-update mo ha,” dagdag ko pa.
“Bawal ba akong mag update sa’yo?” biglang humina ang boses niya at tila nagtatampo pa.
Inalis ko ang cellphone sa tainga ko at binuksan ang video call. Para naman makita niya ang reaction ko. Nang binuksan ko ang video call ay nagbukas rin siya.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa bumungad sa aking mga mata. Holy crap… The water was still dripping from his hair down to his naked chest, and his biceps flexes as he dries his hair from wetness.
My eyes were fixated on his half-naked body as the water still continues to drop, making him hot as hell on my sight. Nakita ko naman ang katawan ni Ry ng ganito pero bakit parang iba ata ang impact sa akin nito ngayon to think na nasa cellphone ko lang siya kinakausap.
“Ano Henzy? Natameme ka na naman.” Iniling ko ang ulo ko at sandaling ini-off ang camera para pakalmahin ang sarili.
Damn, Henzy? Why are you being like this? Kanina ka pa sa airport ha.
“Hey, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I am here,” I open the video call already at pinakita sa kaniya ang naiinis kong mukha.
“Hindi ba pwedeng magbihis ka muna bago ka nagpakita sa akin ng ganiyan?” I raised my brow at him.
“Ito na po bibihis na. Ayaw kong ma highblood ka,” sarkastiko niyang wika.
Ini-off niya muna ang camera at nagbihis na. After a while ay tapos na siya at nakasuot na ng damit.
“Paki-kamusta ako kay tita pagdating mo roon ha. Sabihin mo bibisita ako sa kaniya kapag may oras na ako,” pabilin ko.
“No problem. Bye! I’ll turn it off na. Call you later! Sleep well!”
“Kahit hindi na!” sigaw ko kaya natawa siya at bigla na niyang pinatay ito.
After that call, I spent my entire day sleeping because of jetlag.
Nagising ako sa sigaw ni Yesha sabay lundag sa kama ko at niyakap ng mahigpit.
“Ate! You’re home! Ahh! I miss you super!” at pinaunlakan ako ng sandamakmak na halik sa mukha.
“Ate! Omg! You’re really here na! I miss you so damn much!”
“Y-yesha… I-I can’t breathe!”
Dahil masyadong mahigpit ang pagkayakap niya sa akin dahil dinaganan niya pa ako.
“Oppss.. I’m sorry. I was so excited to see you again ate! And I super duper miss you!”
Dahil naistorbo na ang tulog ko ay wala na akong choice kun’di ang bumangon na para harapin siya.
“I miss you too so much.” I hugged her too tightly.
“I am glad that you’re fine now, ate.”
“Yes me too. I’m sorry if I wasn’t with you the whole ten years,” I sincerely apologized.
“Don’t be ate. I understand it and it doesn’t matter to me anymore. What matters to me now is you’re here na already.”
Biglang kumatok si ate Nena sa kwarto ko at pinapababa na kami dahil kakain na at nasa hapag na rin si papa. Pagkababa ko ay agad akong sinalubong ng mahigpit na yakap ni papa.
“Welcome home anak.”
“I miss you pa.” I hugged him tighter, and a single tear fell from my eyes.
I miss them so much. I miss everything about them. Iniwan man ako ng aking ina ngunit iniwanan naman niya ako ng mga taong alam kong magtatagal sa tabi ko. I am delighted that my father never abandoned me after everything that happened. When in fact, he’s not obligated to me since his blood wasn’t running on my body. Si Yesha naman talaga ang totoo nilang anak ni mama kaya wala ng rason pa para panatilihin niya pa ako sa puder niya.
Ngunit hindi niya ‘yon ginawa. He was even the one who processes my papers when I decided to follow his daughter in Seattle. He supported my decision until the very end, and now I am still welcome in his home.
“I miss you too. We are so happy that you’re home anak,” he even hugs me tighter kaya ang isang patak ng luha ko ay naging sunod-sunod na.
“Thank you for everything Pa. Thank you for considering me as your real daughter,” my voice cracked as I said those words.
“I don’t just consider you as my daughter just because of your mom, Henzy. You are my daughter, and you must always remember that.”
“I love you both, dad and Yesha.”
“We love you too, anak.”
“Are you sure are you ready to work the next day?” tanong sa akin ni papa pagkatapos namin kumain ng dinner. Nasa balcony kami nagpapahangin habang siya ay umiinom ng JD niya.
He offered me earlier, and I declined. I wasn’t in the mood to drink this night.
I decided to open up the topic of my planned to work in our hospital. He’s shocked when I announced to him I am ready to work and take my residency tomorrow.
“Yes, and that’s one of my main purposes why I decided to come home,” I directly stated.
“Once you start working there, you can’t run already. A lot of cases you need to handle and surgeries you need to operate, especially that you’re in the field of cardio,” he warned me ngunit parang wala lang ‘yon sa akin.
I was immune already to that when I had my internship in Seattle. Nakalimutan ata ni papa na naging intern din ako at samot-saring mga kaso rin ang na ha-handle ko. Lalo na’t kapag nasa emergency room kami na-assign no’n.
“Pa, I had gone internship, so I already know that. I am well prepared for the challenges, and I am willing to take it.”
“But this time anak, it will be different. Residency is quite difficult, especially now that you’re here in the Philippines. Ibang-iba ang patakaran natin dito kesa sa ibang bansa dahil kulang tayo ng mga doctor dito.” He sipped on his drink and looked at me.
That doesn’t scare me at all. I know it will be a big difference. When I had my internship, I worked my ass off for 48 hours straight, and the next day after 48 hours, I had my day off before my shift for another 48 hours.
When I decided to come home and work here, I already think about it. I know I will be much busier than I did when I was in Seattle. And I am ready to face it all. That’s part of my career and what I wanted to do with my life.
How can I grow as a person if I keep looking back and not accepting the challenges ahead of me? How can I win the fight if I’d back on a battlefield?
Life won’t spoonfeed you the easy ones. It will always be the hard ones cause life will be testing how strong you are. How strong you are to handle any difficulties and how brave you are to fight for them.
You only win when you fight, and you lost when you decided to give up.
“I am ready to partake with it pa. I am prepared to face the challenges that await me. I am ready to fight them,” I firmly said with dedication.
I looked through his eyes directly and stated this, “I am a doctor, and I should save more lives.”
“You really are your mom’s daughter—both dedicated and brave. I know she’s be happy up there to see you now,” he brought up mom in our conversation.
Tumingala ako sa langit at nakita ang nag-iisang bituin na siyang nagniningning. Ma, are you watching there? Are you proud of what I become?
Your daughter is a doctor already. I have achieved my dreams already, and I will be much happier if you’re physically here to witness all of that.
“I wish she’s here to witness all of my achievements,” I whispered.
“She’s proud there, anak. She’s proud that her strong daughter is now a doctor,” he whispered too.
“Yeah… she’s my inspiration…”
“Then it’s fixed. Starting tomorrow, you will be working in our hospital. Doc. Vasquez.”
Finally, I can work in my country and serve and save the people on my country as a doctor.
I am happy that I am here now on my dreams, regardless of what I have gone through.
“See you tomorrow, Doc. Vasquez,” my father told me before he went to his rooms.
Doc. Vasquez and yes I am now a doctor.