The mixer whirrs to life. I throw in more flour, add three eggs and whisk the batter into a smooth mix. Calum, my unwilling apprentice, watches from behind the counter. He came in last night.
On my command, Calum oils the pans for the cake and turns on the oven. Done, he edges close to me. I swat his hand before he dips his finger into the mix.
“Come on, Tessa. I came all this way, let me have some.” I roll my eyes. He came all this way, uninvited but I’m happy to see him. I empty the batter into the small pan. We will eat from that. “Just a taste.”
“Fine.” I shove the spatula in his face and he snatches it from me. My face scrunches in disgust when he licks the spatula clean like a hungry dog. “Calum, what’s wrong with you?”
He shrugs. “Nothing?”
It feels like there’s something but I continue emptying the batter into the pans. When I’m done, I bring out the ingredients for the icing.
Today is Ben’s twenty-second birthday and nothing will ruin the day for me. I pull on my gloves and insert the pans into the oven. Calum pushes the stopwatch towards me and I respond with a big, grateful smile. In twenty—at most, thirty—minutes, the cakes will be ready.
I plop onto the high stool and my baking partner drags the second one beside me. “What’s up, Calum?”
“Life?” He hides his face in his palms. When I am done mixing, I add the colouring for the icing and set the bowl down. Leah and Mira are still together. They are out of the country but they seemed fine the last time we were on a video call. Calum has been Calum. In and out of our lives under the guise of trying to figure out himself. He sighs again. “I did something.”
“Bad?” I add.
After graduation, Calum moved to Atlanta for a while. He hasn’t had the best post-highschool life with his drug use. He gives a half-shrug. “I guess.”
“You guess or you did something bad?” My voice is sharper than I intend for it to be and he flinches. I close my eyes and release my breath. “Just tell me. What did you do?”
“It’s not something bad, Tessa,” he explains. I wipe my hands on the towel when all I want to do is smack it across his face till he starts talking.
Ben should be finishing soon from work. Maria has a concert today and we got VIP tickets to the show.
“To be honest, it depends on who you ask,” he says.
“Then start talking.”
“I fucked my stepsister.”
Silence falls over us. I blink, expecting him to fly away or dissolve with this ludicrous news but Calum is still here. A wave of different emotions unfolds inside me. Anger. Disappointment. I don’t know what to say but I know what I feel. We all hoped the recent move to Europe and his mum’s new marriage would give him a chance to start afresh.
“Really, Calum?” His mum’s marriage isn’t even up to six months old yet, if I am correct. Calum senses the barely concealed anger in my voice and his head droops. I don’t care about his sexual life but his stepsister should be off-limits. “You couldn’t have fucked someone else? Your stepsister!”
“It was an accident,” he cries out.
“Right?” I head over to the oven and open it. The cakes are not ready. Straightening up, I place my hands on my waist. “I’m guessing she tripped and fell on your erection or you tripped and dicked her.” Calum frowns and I throw my hands up in fake remorse. “I mean, that’s what an accident looks like.”
“Fine. It wasn’t an accident.” Picking up one of the pipes for the icing, he stares at it for so long and drops it. “You’re not making me feel better, Tessa. I didn’t come here to be judged.”
“I’m not judging you but you need someone to let you know you fucked up and Calum, you fucked up big time.” His blue eyes well with tears and a pang of guilt hits me. I hug him from the side. Maybe I’m being too hard on him. “Does your mum know?”
“I can never tell her,” he answers with a laugh and we break away from the hug. I smile at him. “I know I fucked up. And I really tried to resist her but she was on a mission to get me. Plus, I liked her too and we connected a lot over music. I just… I got…”
“Are you happy, Calum?” I ask. His smile wears off and I hug myself. “You never talk to us anymore.”
“Yeah. Kind of.” His head moves continually in a nod. “But I’m most happy when I’m with her. And I’m really trying to stay away from the drugs.”
“Good boy.”
Calum laughs. “I’m not a boy.”
Those words fly over my head and I ruffle his hair to show him I don’t care what he says.
“I don’t think your mum will be happy about this,” I murmur when the cakes are out of the oven. I toss the gloves. “Will you tell her? Or, is this a fling?”
“It’s more than a fling but I don’t know what it is,” he says in a calm voice. “I feel like I should end it now or it will make everything awkward for us.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” I scrape off the top and sides of Ben’s cake, then start with the icing. I’m using blue. “I’m not sure what advice to give you, Cal. But I’m here if you need a listening ear. Ben is too.”
“Thanks.” After a moment of working silently with him scraping off the second cake while I ice Ben’s cake, Calum says, “You’re both lucky to have each other. I would really love to have my own soulmate. You two make it look so easy and I know it’s not.”
The only response he gets is a snort and a muffled laugh. It’s hard sometimes and we have our bad days but our promise to each other keeps us going. His mission is still to make me happy every day of my life and mine hasn’t changed. I promise to make him happy every day of his life. He makes it easy.
I finish icing Ben’s cake and Calum ices the second one. I don’t complain when he licks the icing but he gets a few smacks on the head from me. After more instructions to Calum on what to do before our arrival, I head into my room for a bath and change into something else. Something black and sexy.
Minutes later, I poke my head into the kitchen to give Calum final instructions. “Don’t forget,” I remind him. Ben doesn’t know I’m throwing him a small party. I couldn’t make the big 21 for him and I won’t miss out on his big 22. “I’ll give you a call.”
Some of Ben’s work friends are aware and they will be at our house before Maria’s concert ends. I send Ben a text to let him know I’m on my way to his office and he replies with plenty of love and dancing emojis. My Benny. My soulmate.