I don't know how to feel. It's like my mind is tangled up, and my lips are sealed enough to keep me from talking and saying something about what he just said. I know he's not asking for a reply or a gesture that I could give back right away, but when he let go of his hug, I saw how sad his eyes were. He even wiped my tears and told me that everything would be fine.
He even puts me at the top of his priorities, while I can't even do that to myself right now!
I'm feeling something inside, but I don't know if it's sure or if it's even true to say out loud.
I just want to be free.
I keep trying to remember any memory of him, but I just can't do anything about it. I can't even say anything nice to keep him fine or anything.
And the last drop of it—I can't even help myself as of now.
I'm now sitting on the balcony, thinking about the decisions I've made these past few days. Yesterday, after our little encounter in the kitchen, I just headed out to the guest room and didn't go down to eat dinner, even though his grandmother told me to. I was already bombarded with my thoughts last night, and eating with them while listening to all of them talk will only make me feel bad.
The sea, on the other hand, felt very warm, and the warm breeze suddenly made me want to take a dip for some time. Eventually, I decided to take myself for a swim.
When I woke up earlier, I didn't notice any single soul inside the house, so maybe I'll just wander around by myself. I get back to my room and look for some clothes that will fit me because I don't have any luggage with me, and apparently, they just bought me some when we were in the airport yesterday. I took out simple black shorts and a pink sleeveless crop top for my outfit. I quickly changed my clothes to get out of the house.
While I was walking towards the beach umbrellas, I could see pairs of eyes looking at me, or, should I say, following me, and obviously talking about me like I wasn't here. I disregarded them for once. Gosh, I only need some time for peace! Why can't they give that to me?
When I finally reached the line of beach umbrellas near the seashore, I noticed someone sleeping on one of the lounges while his hat was resting on his head and covering his whole face.
I sat down on the lounge beside him, and I almost grabbed his neck when he suddenly moved to stand up. It revealed his face, and I just immediately glared at him.
Just what the hell?
"You didn't tell me you already arrived," I said as I calmed my nerves and rested my whole body on the lounge. It's Luke, and he's simply annoying.
"Well, that wouldn't be a surprise after all," he said sarcastically.
"I don't need any surprises anymore," I said to stop him from joking.
"Calm down, sis," he said before he sat down again. "Besides, I just escaped a near-death experience; you should be nice to me."
"But you're not going to die anyway," I blurted out.
Luke sighed as he heard my continuous sarcasm toward him. I'm not really in the mood to talk with anyone, not even with my brother, who scared the shit out of me right before I arrived in this secluded place that has so many nosy people around—well, I don't even know if there are all humans here—and basically imprisoned me in here. Plus, the only person I want to ask about what happened to me is not even here, so what am I really supposed to do in here?
"Chill out," Luke said before he lay down again.
"Did they do anything to you?" I asked regarding what happened to him.
"Well, they only asked me questions like what happened to you and told me how they were very excited to kill our clan," he said casually.
"Did you see their faces?" I asked once more.
"No, they were like ninjas, and they only stopped asking me when they called you, and eventually they threw me out on the streets, and that's where Ysmael's men found me," he explained.
My mind got confused about his statement. What did he mean when he said they just threw me out after that call?
"Just like that?" I asked curiously this time.
"Yeah, just like that," he sighed. "I thought I was about to lose my sanity at that moment, but then right after the call, they just hurriedly dispatched me."
I'm trying to figure out what happened, and it just doesn't feel right at all. They could kill my brother if they wanted to, yet they let him go. I looked in the direction of Luke, who's currently sipping on his pina colada. I know it's bad to think about this, but is it possible that my brother is lying to me?
My vivid memory of him suddenly flashed out in my mind again. The one where he's holding my hand while he's looking at me in his poker face. Is that even real too?
I looked away, but then he caught me looking at him.
"Do you want to ask something?" he asked.
"Nevermind," I said shortly.
"Come on, you can ask me anything right now," he said, trying to push me to say anything.
I tried to ignore my brother, but as soon as he realized that I wanted to say something earlier, he just couldn't stop bugging me. I'm starting to get annoyed by his presence, so I shifted my position to the opposite side, where I won't be seeing him. I thought that would be the last straw, but then he kept on poking me, like he couldn't even realize that I didn't want to talk about it now.
I finally stood up and was about to walk out when he almost shouted while asking.
"What is your problem anyway? He asked, and so I faced him. "You're acting like a bitch right now, just like how you used to act before."
I scoffed.
"So what was my attitude before I lost some of my memory, then?" I snapped out.
I saw how his body stiffened because of my question.
"You wanted to let me ask questions, right?" I said sarcastically. "Then hear it: are you involved with what happened to my accident? Are you hiding something? Or, should I ask, do you have anything more to hide from me, huh?"
I saw how my brother's eyes were saddened. But then I just laughed at the thought of it. He's pushed me to my limits now.
"What? You're not going to say anything after you repeatedly asked for this? Next time, if you're so ready for some confrontation, then just tell me everything! Not like what you did earlier," I said as I could feel that my eyes already showed their true color.
"Are you done now?" He suddenly asked in his stern voice.
My lips parted in disbelief after what I just heard. God, what did I even do this time to make it worse? I've only asked for things I wanted to know.
I was about to turn my back on him and walk out of the place, but he spoke.
"I can't tell anything yet." I can hear his sigh afterwards. "This is not the right time for you to know."
I felt him walking towards me, and only seconds passed when he tapped my shoulders.
"I think it's best for you to not know anything yet."
That was the last thing he said before he went off.
Now, I've finally confirmed it.
He knows something.