Chapter 62: Called her Doris.
For some time, she found it very funny. It was oddly amusing. Her very own daughter was now staying in the very same house that Joshua Gallagher had told her, time and again that she would never lay her head under not even if she fell pregnant and or was balefully ill. For the most part it had almost been six weeks and her sons had not said anything even after she had asked a somewhat adequately skilled negro that lived in the commune to write for her a well composed letter. They never wrote back, she found it harsh maybe assuming she did not know how the post office and mail worked. It may be that they were very busy men. It bothered her to the point that she felt restless at night.
Moments when she felt like knocking on her daughter's door for this and that only to be greeted by another negro who had been happily granted the room. The lights in the main house were always bright, shadows behind a curtain were quite clear. Doris knew that had to be William's room. It was oddly weird not having spoken to her daughter for this long... she had to admit... maybe she kind of missed her and the little brat. He had some very laughable moments with his now front missing teeth. She had always hated his eyes, it was a significant feature that reminded her that her grandson was a mulatto who caused an uproar in her relationship with her daughter and the people at the commune. Doris would not admit it though even when Ruth had continuously asked her. It still astounded her how her very own daughter was living in the mansion with the devils, a betrayer is what she is. She had certainly betrayed people of her own kind, people at the commune had began to conclude that she had always been the snitch and was never to be trusted. Slaves sometimes stole stock and this and that... the overseers always found out. As soon as Panashe was granted her freedom... they pointed all their fingers at her. Rage was what some mothers felt as they compared their daughters to Panashe.
'If you had brains, you would have found a way to get a white man's attention.'
'We might have thought Doris was a fool but look her daughter worked her way from the bedroom to the top.'
'Get impregnated by a white man.'
'I should have known—'
Doris could only conclude that Panashe was pregnant yet again. Joshua Gallagher was a cruel man and if he ever did anyone anything it was to his benefit or his loved one's. Could it that he had asked for her to give him another grandson in exchange for her freedom. The way he had showed his affection for the little brat... it would not be surprising if he wanted William and Panashe to bring another offspring. Something just did not add up, it infuriated her how Panashe had began to even dress like a lady. A lady?! She looked ridiculous...ly—
beautiful, Doris had to admit. Although Panashe's presence in the Gallagher home had been kept a secret amongst family. Talks travelled, as if everyone around town knew the whole ideal that the worst most cruel family had allowed a negro girl to be set free and that she had been residing in their very own home?! Absurdity. It was as absurd as allowing a stray dog to live amongst people in the house.
—
"I can not continue living there any longer..." A much younger Doris had told Joshua Gallagher.
"Don't be absurd, where do you wish to reside then? In the bushes." He chuckled harshly. She only stared at him with fuming anger.
"With you..."
This only made Master Joshua laugh out loudly. "Imbecile!" He muttered under his breath.
"You pro—" With that he harshly hit her so hard her nose dropped bits of blood.
"I will not allow—" this only followed with him harshly putting his fists on her even with how battered her face was beginning to appear, he continued. Lastly spitting on her. He began to pace back and forth around the small room.
"I did not promise you anything you stupid half witted imbecile. I do not remember convincing you that you would be living in my house with my wife, with my kids! You must be sluggishly slow if you think that would ever be possible. Even if it was, I wouldn't." With a sigh, he laid his hand on Doris chin and made her look up at him. "Have you seen my bloody wife? Beautiful, young, petite, elegant. And you think, I'd leave her for an unwavering resemblance of an ape. You ought to be ill-advised."
Knowing if she spoke, she would only make him more vicious and violent. He always seemed to use all his anger on her. One eye, seemingly closing from how swollen it had become. There was silence... abruptly hitting the wall with his right fist; Doris flinched.
"You're selfish! You're not even thinking about your daughter. You plan on abandoning her when she has barely started to walk.." With a huff, lighting up his tobacco. He added. "Not that I care about you animals."
Doris only sniffled.
"She was a m-mistake." Doris stammered. "I only plan on serving and pleasing you. Nothing else!" She added trying to get in his good books. A part of her knew that she meant what she had been saying. After she had given birth to their twins, he had started ill treating her. He had always been horrid but it had began to be much worse and unbearable.
"Everything you produce is a mistake."
"You could sell her!!" She quickly added.
"She is a somewhat look-able girl... a much better replacement for when I'm sick of you."
"I—"
"Get cleaned up. I promised Denver that he could have a turn after I was done. You ought to give a good shag, do not make a fool off me in front of my mates." Before turning to leave he called her name. "Doris?"
Hesitantly she replied. "Yes, Master Joshua."
"I know you did it again."
She only turned to look down at her fumbling fingers. Nervous, a few tear drops streamed down her cheeks. Feeling very shameful. She did not attempt to look him in the eye. Much worse when he asked her once more.
"Was it mine?"
"No..."
"Henry then? Your husband? Denver? Jenkins? Walter? Mal—"
"I do not know!"
"You must know.."
She wanted to voice that it was his fault for constantly making her sleep with his also married mates for his own entertainment. She wanted to to voice out that, it was not her fault. She wanted to voice out—
It didn't matter, it wouldn't count.
To him at-least.
"You're pathetic, Doris... very pathetic!" With that he left, not before spitting on her face and kicking anything that stood in his way. The wooden door creaking and banging against the poorly built door frame. It was the ranch store room after all.
—
Doris only felt sick to her stomach when she thought of everything Joshua Gallagher had put her through. Much worse when her grandson spoke of him like the kindest there is. Much worse when he treated her daughter differently. She never loved him but she would admit that him treating his daughter better than her... hurt. She always thought, she would work for her freedom but Panashe is the one who instead got the freedom that Doris claimed to have been working for years and years. What did William see in her? Profoundly, Doris thought her daughter was just average. There was nothing special about her. Yes, she had an admirable body... which she had inherited from Doris but other than that, there was nothing special. With a sigh, Doris remembered how she had sent men from the commune to take advantage of her daughter so that she could teach her a lesson. Teach her that she was not any better. It annoyed her how her daughter always found pride in saying no other man had ever touched her except William and not counting Elliot. It aggravated her how she thought of herself pure and better. It was far worse how her son turned out to be a good mixture much handsome. She had to admit that her son's had not turned out that way. It was something she prayed for when she got pregnant on purpose assuming she would get better treatment. Doris had prayed that her sons would be a resemblance of their father but no, they favored the her genes better. Now that Panashe's son had even inherited those blue eyes, it was out of question. Doris felt that if there was a God, He was certainly one for favoritism. Clicking her tongue for what seemed like the tenth time. She turned to the other side of her bed.