Chapter 70: Called it a beautiful contrast.
As much as Doris wanted, desired to make amends with her daughter... that way maybe just maybe she would also gain her freedom and maybe? Live in the mansion. Oh who knows... ahahah she thought to herself. As much as she wanted all that, her pride would not let her. She had assumed that sooner or later Panashe would come running back to her. She had always been that way, always needing her mothers protection. Suppose, things had changed, suppose she only needed William now? Suppose maybe Doris had pushed her too far. It was becoming a drag, how everyone wanted to know how her daughter was living? How, her grandson merely owned everything? Unbelievable, she would never believe it until she saw it. Joshua was a cunning devil, he absolutely hated negroes and for him to make that decision to leave half a negro everything his forefathers had worked decades and decades for. From being shoemakers to owning land and earning name for themselves amongst society and of independent means.
"You would not believe what happened earlier this morning..." Aunt Ruth's niece who worked as a housekeeper in the mansion exclaimed to Doris and Doris's longtime friend Ruth. They all looked at her waiting for her to speak.
"Do not keep us waiting then Nora?" Aunt Ruth replied as she continued to wash her clothes with Doris. They were sharing a metal shaped dish of water. Doris, missed Panashe... she used to do all the washing for her but it did not matter. Doris knew how to do things on her own as well.
Nora seemed really sheepish wanting to choose her words wisely. "Lady Martha had requested that I go check if Master William and Panashe were awake. I did not give it much thought as I simply opened the door without thinking. I'm very ashamed." She shied away, only being seventeen years old. It really gave her jitters, the thought of sex itself. Speaking of it with older women was even more taboo.
"What were they doing then? That has you aversive.." Doris rudely asked.
"Uh... I saw Master William without a stitch... on top of Panashe. I quickly closed the door, not wanting to get in trouble as I had already invaded their privacy." His backside is magnificent, she thought to herself. She could not get the image of William pummeling inside Panashe, out of her head. The sheets tangled and the moans and pleading from her lips. It seemed most pleasurable, the way every muscle of his body contoured as he ravaged her, his buttcheeks making remarkable movement into her. Her legs wrapped around his waist. It was like chocolate and caramel wrapped around each other making beautiful contrast. No wonder their child had turnt out beautifully. It was something she had never seen before and never thought she would see.
Doris only rolled her eyes. "If you must know, that's how my daughter earned her spot in that house by spreading her legs. If she isn't already pregnant then I do not know how she will maintain that spot."
Aunt Ruth then shook her head. "Will you ever have anything nice to say about your own daughter? She has done us proud. You might not see it that way but it gives everyone in the commune a little bit of hope that change is coming and that we will also be our own persons one day. Furthermore, with Christian being the new owner. We can only hope that when he takes over, he grants us our freedom... if not then we hope for better conditions. Doris, if Panashe was my daughter... I'd be beyond proud!"
Doris was quiet, a tad bit regretful.
She had not wanted to say it but she missed her daughter. There were so many things that Panashe did for her unknowingly and now she was not here. Panashe always made sure she washed her mother's clothes along with hers and Christian's. While her mother was off drinking a little bit of stolen alcohol and committing adultery at the commune for a little bit more. Panashe always cleaned her mother's room even if they weren't on speaking terms. Doris has not washed in years and it made her knuckles hurt. No one loved her more than her own daughter and she took that for granted. Could it be that William was different from his father? He had true intentions with her daughter. She only sighed as she continued to wash without soap, that's how it had always been. Having soap was a luxury at the commune.
"Aunty, I want to find my own white man and give him a child... God knows, I deserve better than this commune has to offer." Nora said dreamily. "Panashe wears like a lady now, she is glowing."
"Only pregnant women glow." Doris added.
"She is not pregnant Doris. Unless you have spoken to her then quit making up lies."
"Have you spoken to her then..?" Doris countered.
Aunt Ruth cleared her throat. "Here and there..."
Doris let out a shaky laugh. "I see what you're trying to archive huh? Because you killed all your offsprings now you're after mine? Pathetic. I raised that girl and made her what she is."
"Quit being obnoxious Doris. Panashe has only being giving us a wheat, flour sometimes loaves of bread some teabags and sugar that's all."
Doris was hurt.
"What?"
Nora was afraid of speaking but did anyways. "Not only that...she has been giving people at the commune things they really need. I suppose, everything seems better now. Remember the roof of the main commune kitchen was leaking water during the raining season? She spoke to William and they sent someone over to fix it. I really admire her, she is my role model."
Doris was speechless and envious.
"She has not done anything for me. Not even came to see me..."
"She does not owe any of us anything but she looks out for us regardless. She has not forgotten the hardships of living in our shoes." Aunt Ruth replied. "If she spread her legs to get to where she is as you say then I'm proud of her regardless."
"William loves her, you should witness the way he looks at her. He listens to her like she is his wife. He values her opinion and does not make her feel lesser than she is." Nora added. "Not even with his family around."
"If I knew any better, I'd say you're in-love with William." Aunt Ruth chuckled rinsing the dress she had been distractedly washing for the past fifteen minutes.
"Not at all, Aunty! I'm simply inlove with the idea of them together. Do you reckon I'm good enough for a white lad as well?"
"It is not as easy as you think Nora."
"It's not, considering that same man use to rape my daughter each and every night of her stay at that Marlborough house."
Nora flinched.
"We're not discouraging you. Do not be too naive. Changing a grown white man's morals takes a lot. Changing the way he was taught to think and act... to be disgusted by you, to not value you as a human being but as property. They barely treat their white women well, how much more as a negro?"
As an inside joke, Doris chuckled. "I could not even change Joshua but Christian did it." She shrugged.
"How I miss that ball of energy... he ran up to me the other day at the stables. I had not seen him in a while." Aunt Ruth added. It really bothered Doris how Ruth was replacing her. Being buddy buddy with Panashe now with her grandson? Doris could not hide the sneer on her face as she clicked her tongue from then on it was quiet. Doris needed to speak to her daughter. They needed to reconcile. She wanted to have what everyone else had with Panashe. It seemed people now loved her, the rumors were dying out infact no one cared if Panashe had been a prostitute for Master Joshua and his sons or if she was pregnant again? As long as she gave them a bag of flour and contents to make bread and have some tea, that was more than enough for them. Bread was such a luxury. Panashe acted as a savior. Instead of hating her, they now loved, admired and looked up to her. Not even one of Doris's rumors could spark a flame. People valued bread and not busybodies. Gossip did not fill their stomachs after a long day of work, Gossip did not add any value to their miserable lives but Panashe did. It was that simple.