The cries of our newborn babies snap me out of my sleep. I jerk up and check the time on the alarm clock. 7 pm. I groan into my hands.
My life has changed since their arrival. My sleeping pattern has worsened and my knowledge about babies has increased.
Babies poop a lot. They cry too damn much. They don’t need a reason to cry, just existing is enough reason for them to cry. It is exhausting.
Brandon Langalethu Stark is the louder one. Brendan Lelethu Stark is quieter. Annika gave them their middle names with approval from their godfather, Joshua. Lelethu means ours while Langalethu, short for Langa means our sunshine. I must admit, he hasn’t been a ray of sunshine for a while. He’s a big ball of noisy energy.
El rouses from her sleep at the incessant sound of her crying babies. I love my sons but they cry too goddamn much. Their cries are coordinated. Once one of them starts crying, the other twin is bound to join in.
“Hey.” El tries to sit but I place a hand on her shoulder. My lips meet her cheek. “Go back to sleep.”
Sleep clouds her eyes and her eyelids flutter. “Are you sure?” She yawns again. “I can help.”
Na. We don’t need her help. I pull back the cover over her chest. She needs rest. Breastfeeding two kids is the hardest work on planet earth. The doctor advised exclusive breastfeeding but she is losing weight.
“I’ll take care of it,” I promise. We have sachets of breast milk in the freezer. I can warm it up. El puckers her lips for a kiss, I press mine to her nose and she snickers.
I shut the door behind me after turning off the lights. The twins are still crying when I open the door. The nanny looks up as soon as I step in. With her help, we carry the twins to the kitchen where I warm the breast milk.
Brandon Junior opens his eyes and my heart stops. He offers me a toothless smile, curls his baby fingers around my thumb and my chest swells with indescribable joy.
My boy. I have my boys. I got my baby boys.
I smile at him and he laughs, showing off his pink gum. He’s such a beauty and I can’t help staring at him. I bop his nose and make a gurgling sound that elicits laughter from him. Their cries are annoying but as soon as you see them, you forget the annoyance.
“Say Daddy,” I tell him.
El and I might have made a bet on their first word. I think they will both say: Daddy. They are my birthday miracle. They came into the world a few minutes to midnight. I asked for sons and I also got birthday mates. The men in the house were born on August fourteen.
Brandon Junior looks up to me with eyes the same colour as his mother’s. Brendan has my eyes. They both have my face. El thinks it unfair since she did most of the work but it’s only right they take after their daddy. Mother is convinced they will look more like El as they grow older, I pray to God she’s wrong.
I hug my namesake to my chest and lower myself to the sofa. The nanny does the same with Brendan but the girls troop into the living room before we start feeding. My lips quirk in a small smile. They always come at the right time. I shift closer to the arm of the chair so there’s more space on the couch for them.
“Daddy, it’s my turn today,” Bren says.
She stands in front of me, hands planted on her hips like she’s disappointed at me for daring to start this feeding process without her. I think she’s lying. She fed them yesterday. We take turns to feed them so everyone has a chance to bond with the newborns. El spends most evenings with the breast pump and they feed directly from the source in the mornings.
Brianna pries Brendan from the nanny. She sits on the other side of the couch and holds him to her chest the way El taught us. The girls sit between us, I offer them the feeding bottles and they guide it into their brothers mouths. It’s a division of labour. We hold the babies and they do the feeding. It was uncomfortable at first but we made it work.
The quiet is interrupted by their suckles. Milk drips down the corners of the boys lips and the older twins wipe it off. They are great sisters and they almost make me wish I had an elder sister. Their brothers are lucky to have them.
I catch Brendan’s eyes and wink at him. He kicks the air and belches. We erupt in laughter. They are so small and chubby that everything they do is cute, everything but their cries. I laugh harder when Brandon Junior sneezes. I didn’t know a sneeze could sound so beautiful.
“Bless you, B,” Wyn murmurs.
As if he understands, my namesake smiles again and more milk trickles out of his mouth.
When they are done feeding, we rock them to sleep. It’s easier for them to fall asleep after they are done feeding. Soon enough, their eyes flutter close and their calm breathing fills the air. I get up slowly to avoid waking the baby in my arms, Brianna does the same.
They follow me to their room to drop them in their cribs. We wait a few more minutes to be sure they won’t wake and nothing of such happens. The twins drag me out of the room, they are about to pull me in the direction of the master bedroom but I stop. El might have become too scarce since the babies arrival but she needs the rest.
“What is it?” I ask, knowing fully well what they want.
“We want to see Mummy,” Wyn says. Bren nods. They will be six year old in about a month’s time. They are growing too fast.
I squat to their height. “Mummy is sleeping.”
Wyn is about to argue when Brianna steps in. She gives her younger sister one look. Wyn stomps her feet and folds her arms on her chest. The door to our bedroom opens and El steps out. She smiles when she notices me but her attention is on the girls. Wyn runs off and throws herself at El.
“Daddy doesn’t want us to see you,” she tells her mother.
“Is that so, Daddy?” El asks while holding Wyn’s head to her stomach.
It has been too long since El teased me, that is why my dick does a little jerk. We haven’t had sex yet. I hoist Wyn up and her legs circle my waist. She stretches her arms for her mother to carry her and El takes the initiative.
“Mummy is tired, okay?” El tells her. Her forehead presses to Wyn and she smiles.
“Sorry, Mummy. We fed B and BB,” she says like it makes everything okay.
“Thank you, my baby,” El replies with a kiss to Wyn’s lips. I frown. I’m her baby, Wyn is her princess. She shouldn’t confuse the two.
Bren steps closer to me and slips her hand into mine. Brianna does the same with my free hand. I allow Wyn a few more minutes with her mother before I break it off.
“Time’s up, Wyn. Mummy needs rest.”
She pouts but allows El to set her down on her feet. Stubborn girl. The boys will be grown in a few years and we can match this cuteness.
The girls run down the stairs giggling, I carry El bridal style and she puckers her lips for a kiss. I don’t give her a kiss.
“You called her your baby,” I murmur. “I’m your only baby.”
El laughs. “Yep. You’re my big baby.” I set her down beside the bed. “Baby, I want a kiss.”
Palming her cheeks, I press my lips to hers in a long kiss. We break away from the kiss grinning sheepishly.
“Someone is horny,” El teases. She winks but I have no idea what she is talking about. I won’t be getting any sex until she is fully healed so I have learned a bit of self-control.
“What?” I ask.
She motions to the tent in my sweatpants. I shrug. I am a man and my body recognises sexiness. El sits me down and kneels between my legs. I try to pull her up but she refuses.
“I want to watch you jerk off,” she says. I open my mouth and close it. The idea sounds ludicrous but I want to do it for her. To watch her face while I wank. She frees my erection from my sweatpants and strokes the tip shining with precum. “You can finish in my mouth.”
My hand closes around my dick and she giggles. “What?”
She points to the red mark on my neck. Brendan started that and his brother finished the good work. I took a little longer than I should have to get their feeding bottle ready and they latched onto my neck. It is a miracle how those toothless creatures can wreck this much havoc but I have ceased teasing El about her sore nipples. I understand it.
I hiss out a moan when her finger circles the tip of my shaft. “Baby, touch yourself for me. I want to watch.” She pouts. “Do it for your baby.”
My head bobs. I move my hand up and down my shaft in the way she would have done. Her eyes dilate as she takes in the sight of me. It’s harder to tell what’s more exciting, wanking in front of her or watching her watch me while I wank.
“I’m coming,” I whisper. She takes my hand and swallows my length in one swift move. I shoot my load into her mouth, she winks and her tongue darts out to moisten her lips. I pull her into my lap and she straddles me.
“Are you happy?” she asks.
“More than words can say,” I reply.
El yawns, her head falls on my shoulder. “Me too. But I’m tired.” I stroke her arm. That tiredness is almost our constant. As if hit by a thunderbolt, her head snaps up and she grins. “I’m definitely choosing you, Brandon Stark.”
“Choosing me?” She nods. She’s still grinning like the happiest woman on earth. “For what?”
“Not what? Where.” Makes even less sense but I wait impatiently for her to continue. “In my next life, I’m choosing you.” My smile is instantaneous. “I want to always be your wife.”
I flick a finger over her nose. She pouts. “I’m choosing you too. I want to always be your husband. Your beginning, middle and end.”