As I’m lying here thinking about all of this, Tamaska starts jumping around in my mind. Like literally jumping around. She seems so excited all of a sudden. I look up and see Trevor standing over me, looking at me strangely. At first, he seems happy to see me, then his expression changes. I guess he remembers that we are no longer friends. Meanwhile, Tamaska is still going crazy in my head. Trevor and Tamaska say the one word I never wanted to hear in reference to Trevor. They both yell “mate”. No, this can’t be. I can’t be his mate. This will never work. Now I’m panicking. I can see on his face that he is going to reject me. This is not the way my life is supposed to go. Oh, moon goddess, give me the strength to be strong and not break down.
Trevor just stands there for a minute, then says, “let’s get this over. “I, Trevor Monroe, future alpha of Blue Moon pack, reject you as my mate and Luna.”
As soon as he said those words, I felt a pain like I have never experienced before. It’s like my heart has been ripped apart. Tamaska starts whimpering. Trevor made my wolf cry. Why would he do this?
“Why?” I ask. As much as I hate him seeing me cry, tears are running down her eyes. “Why would you do this to us? Why would you take away our chance to be happy? Do you really hate me that much?”
“It’s not about me hating you, Seleste.” He says, “The mate bond will not let me hate you. I just don’t think you are the right person to be my Luna. You are a good Gamma. Fighting is what you do, but I need someone else lying beside me. Not someone who will undermine me or make me look bad in front of the pack warriors. I just can’t have you as my mate. I don’t want you as my mate.”
I can’t believe my mate is saying this to me. It’s like he really wants to hurt me. He is saying that he prefers someone else over me, his mate. Tamaska has not stopped whimpering. She is so hurt by what our mate is saying. Although I knew this was coming, the pain was unbearable.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Trevor? Do you want to think about this before you make a final decision?” I ask in a whisper.
“Don’t beg Seleste, it’s really not becoming. It should be no surprise that I rejected you. I made it known over this past year that I do not want you in my life. Yes, I am sure. I do not want you as my mate. My rejection stands!”
Did he just say stop begging? The nerve of him. I would never beg anyone to be with me. He wishes I was begging him. How is he going to feel when he finds out that I get a second chance mate while he is stuck without a mate? I don’t need to beg.
“Begging, the last thing I’m doing is begging. I have never begged and trust me; you are the last person I would ever beg to be in my life. Out of respect to your father, I have kept my opinion to myself about you and the way you are acting, but truthfully, Trevor, you are a disappointment. I don’t know what your parents or the pack will do when they find out what you have done, but since this is what you want and since frankly, you don’t deserve me, I Seleste True, Pure Born Gamma, Descendant of Fenroe accept your rejection.” I say and begin to walk away. I need to get away from him. It is taking everything in me to hold Tamaska back. She really wants to kick his butt right now.
“Before you go, I order you not to tell anyone about us being mates,” Trevor says in his alpha voice.
Is he serious right now, T. does he really not know that the alpha command does not work on our family? He really is not fit to lead our pack. He obviously did not pay attention in his alpha training, or he would know it is pointless to alpha command me. I will tell who I want to tell. I just look at him in disgust and walk away. As much as I want to break down and cry for hours, I refuse to let him see me cry more than he already has. I hold my head up high and walk away from him. The moon goddess granted me my request. I feel strong and I could keep myself together. At least until I get home.
Once I make it to my house, I run to my mom and cry my eyes out. My mom keeps asking me what’s wrong. My dad comes in and tries to talk to me, but I can’t stop crying enough to talk to them. I can’t say the words. At least not yet. My mom calls Mona to come to be with me and to help calm me down. After crying for about an hour, I’m finally ready to tell my family what happened. Wiping my eyes, I begin the story of my life right now.
“I don’t know where to start. I’ll try to keep it simple. Tamaska was feeling restless, so I went to the clearing the grandmother used to take me to. As I was basking in the moon, Trevor walked into the clearing.” I see my mom and dad stiffen when I mention Trevor’s name. Mona just looks at me with concern. I think she knows what I’m about to tell them.
“It turns out that I am Trevor’s mate,” I say with a sigh.
“I don’t understand,” my dad says, “if you found your mate tonight, why are you crying? Did something happen to you or Trevor?”
“Dad, Trevor rejected me.” My family has the same shocked look I had.
“Are you serious,” my mom and Mona say at the same time.
My dad is steaming mad right now. I’m afraid of what he will do. Trevor hurt his baby. This may not end well for Trevor. When my dad is angry, even the alpha stays out of his way. My mom or I am the only ones that can calm him down.
“Yes, I’m serious. He said that I was not Luna material, and he did not want me as his mate or the right Luna for this pack.” I explained to my family.
“Trevor is an idiot,” Mona says. “There is no one more suited to be our Luna. You have always put this pack first. You have always worked to make us better and stronger.”
“I know. Mona, it hurts so bad. My own mate does not want me. To make matters worse, he tried to alpha command me not to tell anyone that we are mates.”
“What!” my dad yells. “I need to go find this pup and teach him a lesson. No one hurts my baby and lives to talk about. Who does he think he is? He is obviously not fit to lead. He doesn’t even know our pack’s history. Every alpha knows that our family is not subject to any alpha. We serve out of choice, we submit out of respect, not out of compulsion. Our family has served this pack for generations, and I have never questioned that choice until now. This pack is not worth the pain it is causing my baby. First, I’m going to teach that brat a lesson, and then we are transferring to a different pack where they respect and appreciate us.”
“Baby calm down.” My mom says to my dad. “Let’s focus on our baby girl for now. What do you want to do, Seleste?”
“I really don’t know, momma. I don’t want to run like a coward. He is not worth us turning our lives upside down. Besides, I will be traveling a lot after school anyway, so I will rarely see him. And dad, if you hurt Trevor, I may ruin your friendship with Alpha Connor. I’m sure he does not know what Trevor did. And No dad, I don’t want you to tell him. I don’t want anyone to know that Trevor was my mate. Grandmother told me that if one of us gets rejected by our mate, the moon goddess will bless us with a second chance mate. While I don’t want another mate right now, there is still hope for me in the future. Right now, I just want to get through the end of the school year.”
“Ok baby girl, if this is what you want, your father and I will support your decision. But remember, you are my daughter. You will not sit around and mope about that pup. I will give you one full day to cry and be sad, then I want you to pick yourself up and start moving forward. It may still hurt, but it will not destroy you.”
“Thanks, mom,” I say, hugging my parents. “You always know what to say.
“You are my favorite daughter; I will always be there for you in this life and the next.”
“Mom, I’m your only daughter,” I say with a smile.
“And don’t you forget it,” my mom says.
My family spent the rest of the night talking, listening, and wiping my tears. I am so glad I have them in my life. My mom is right. I will not wallow in sadness over Trevor. He has proven that he is not worthy of me. He made his choice and now I am free. I will be able to move on. He thought he would break me, but I won’t break. I go to my room grab my journal and begin to write. I just let all my hurt, anger, and disappointments release on paper. Writing poetry has always been my outlet. Speaking of poetry, I think I will ask the girls to go to Jazzy’s tomorrow night.
As I lie in bed, I start to feel this burning feeling in my stomach. I feel like someone is clawing my stomach from the inside. I have a high pain tolerance, but this is unbearable. I yell out in pain. My mom and dad run into my room when they hear me cry out. I tell my mom about the pain in my stomach. My dad gets mad all over again. They don’t want to tell me what’s going on. Mom says I’m better not knowing. Tamaska is howling in my head. She has been quiet since Trevor rejected us, but now she is balled up in a knot, howling and crying. I know this has to be about Trevor. He made my wolf cry twice. I will never forgive him for that. She does not deserve to be hurt like this.
“T what’s wrong? What’s happening? Mom and dad will not tell me.”
“It’s mate, he is being intimate with another she-wolf.” Tamaska cries. “He really does not want us, and he is already with someone else. Seleste, I can’t handle this right now. I’m going to take a break from this. I’ll still be with you, but I’m going into a deep sleep, at least for now, don’t worry, I’m not going away and I won’t be down long. I just need a little time.”
“It’s ok T. I love you and I will be here for you.” I sent T a hug. I wish I could hold and pet her right now.
“Mom, Dad, Trevor made my wolf cry twice. I will never forgive him for that. She did not deserve that. T told me what this pain is. There is no coming back from this. He has truly sealed our fates and our future. I am done with him. If I had it in me to hate anyone, I would definitely hate Trevor.”
“Like your mom said, baby girl, we will support you no matter what. You deserve better. I will stay out of it and let you handle it for now, but if he hurts you again, I will have to step in. There is no way I or my wolf can stand by and let someone hurt my pup. I don’t care who it is.”
“I love you, dad. Thank you for always being there for me.”
“I love you too, baby girl. Now try to get some sleep.”
The pain stopped after a few minutes, but it drained all of my strength. I soon fell into a dreamless sleep. I woke up this morning debating if I was going to school, but I decided I would not let Trevor’s actions dictate my life. So, yes, I’m going to school today.