MULA sa drawing book na nasa kanyang kandungan ay nagtaas siya ng ulo upang tingnan ang taong tumayo sa kanyang harapan. Shadowing her while she was leaning on the longue chair near the pool under the morning sun. Hindi pa masakit sa balat ang araw kaya naisipan niyang doon tumambay. She was always inside her room lately, at ang payo ng doktor ay magpaaraw siya dahil hindi maganda sa katawan ang hindi paglabas ng kanyang silid.
Her forehead knitted when she saw Harrison. She did not expect that she would see him early in the morning.
Ibinalik niya ang atensiyon sa pagguhit gamit ang kaliwa niyang kamay. Ang sabi ng kanyang doktor ay hindi mawawala ang kakayahan niya sa pagpipinta nang sabihin niya rito ang kinatatakutan niya. Kung hindi raw niya magamit ang kanang kamay sa ngayon ay gamitin niya ang kaliwa. And she was right, she can use her left hand even her feet to draw and paint. May iba nga na bibig ang ginagamit sa pagguhit. She was inspired by those people who used their feet and mouth to draw and paint, she saw a silver lining and she was motivated to start again.
Gamit ang kaliwang kamay ay sinimulan niya uling gumihit at magpinta, hindi ganoon kaganda ang kinilabasan ngunit masaya na siya roon. She was still learning with her left hand at natural lang na hindi pa siya ganoon kagaling.
Sinubukan niyang mag-focus sa ginagawa ngunit dahil sa presensiya ni Harrison ay hindi niya mapagtagumpayan. His presence made her uncomfortable, but no one had to know that, especially him. Paano niya ipapaliwanag ang pagbabagong nangyayari sa kanya kung maski sa sarili niya ay hindi siya makahanap ng kasagutan.
"What do you want?" she asked indifferently when he remained standing there and heard him sighed.
"Good morning too," Harrison muttered with a tinge of sarcasm instead of answering her question. He sat on the lounge chair next to her but still directed his gaze at her, whose eyes were fixated on the drawing pad she was holding.
Ikinibit niya ang balikat ng marinig ang itinuran ni Harrison. "Morning," she said casually.
Nakiramdam siya nang ilang sandaling natahimik ang binatang nasa kanyang kaliwa. She almost closed her eyes when the beating of her heart fastened its pace. It was hammering inside her chest that she needed to take an intense breath.
Dahil sa pagiging abnormal ng kanyang nararamdaman tuwing malapit ito ay napagdesisyunan niyang iwasan si Harrison sa lahat ng kanyang makakaya simula ng muntikang paglapat ng kanilang mga labi sa loob ng kanyang silid ilang linggo na ang nakakaraan. She was sure that if her mother didn't interrupt them, she would let him kiss her. Which was absurd! Since when did she wanted a man to kiss her? Why would Harrison want to kiss her?
"A penny for your thoughts?"
Napukaw ang kanyang pag-iisip at napatingin kay Harrison dahil sa itinanong nito.
"You're frowning as if you're contemplating."
"I'm drawing, in case you can't see it," she retorted.
Lalong nagsalubong ang kanyang mga kilay nang sumilay ang isang ngiti sa mga labi ni Harrison. Kapagkuwan ay nakaramdam ng panunuyo ng lalamunan nang mapatingin sa mga labi nito. Her mind instantly run wild, thinking about what those lips could do and what would it taste like.
"Okay. If you don't want to tell me what you were thinking, at least tell me the reason why you're avoiding me," he said in a casual tone.
"Ha?" wala sa loob na bulalas niya na nakasunod ang mga mata sa mga labi nito habang nagsasalita. Inulit nito ang sinabi na siyang nagpabalik sa kanya sa reyalidad at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin. "I am not." Narinig niya itong napabuntung-hininga sa kanyang isinagot. "'Wag kang praning, Harrison."
"You were avoiding me after... after what happened inside your room."
Inis na muli siyang napatingin kay Harrison, nakakunot ang noo nito sa pagtataka at naghahanap ng kasagutan ang mga mata. "Nothing happened, okay?" Wala naman talagang nangyari sa kanya. Muntik na silang maghalikan, fine, ngunit hindi naman natuloy at hindi iyon big deal.
Talaga ba, Tara Violet? kuntra ng tagong bahagi ng kanyang isipan. Oh, shit!
"Kung sa tingin mo iniiwasan kita, eh, anong tingin mo sa ginagawa natin ngayon. We're talking right now, Harrison, is that what you called me avoiding you?" she preached as if trying to put some sense inside his head.
"I wanted to kiss you."
"What?!" Gulat na tanong niya dahil sa sinabi nito na nagpayanig sa kanyang mundo.
Harrison stared at her eyes, then down to her lips constantly. "I wanted to kiss you, and you would've let me if Tita wasn't there."
"Fuck you!" she cursed because of guiltiness, embarrassment, and anger.
"Oh, I will," Harrison answered immediately, and the side of his lips stretched when he saw how red her face was.
Hinampas niya ito sa mukha gamit ang kanyang drawing pad. "Bastos!" Sabay tayo niya at itinapon dito ang lapis at ginuhitang papel.
Ginamit niya ang crutches upang makalayo agad kay Harrison. Her nostrils flared up, and her face was beet red.
Pagkapasok niya sa bahay ay agad na sumalubong sa kanya si Elsa bagaman may pag-aalangan sa mukha dahil marahil nakita ang anyo niya. Tinulungan siya ng katulong sa pagpanhik sa hagdan patungo sa kanyang silid. She can walk using her crutches but she can't strain herself too much. It was already almost five months when that incident on the stairs happened, give it few more months and she'll be good as new.
"I'm sorry, I was joking..." si Harrison na ramdam niyang nakasunod sa kanila paakyat sa hagdan. Hindi niya ito pinansin hanggang sa makarating sila sa kanyang silid. Tinulungan siya ni Elsa na makaupo sa ibabaw ng kanyang kama kapagkuwan ay nagpaalam na ito. Bago pa niya ito mapigilan ay mabilis itong naglakad patungo sa pinto.
"Kung wala ka ng kailangan, umalis ka na, please lang," she said when she was left there with Harrison, who was standing near her bed and leaning on the wall. She looked at him with a stoic expression to show him that she wasn't in the mood for a dispute.
Sandaling naghinang ang kanilang mga mata bago niya nakita ang pagsilay ng isang malamyang ngiti sa mga labi nito. Was it sadness she saw in his eyes?
"I have something for you," he mumbled and gave her a half-spirited smile. Lumakad ito papalapit sa kanyang direksiyon at hayon na naman ang kaba niya. Seriously? Naiinis na siya sa pag-o-over react ng kanyang puso. "I got a ticket for you for our premiere night. I want you to come."
"No!" Iyon agad ang mabilis niyang sagot. She really can't go there, not in her condition and not with Harrison. She's avoiding him, after all. "I can't."
"Why can't you?"
Nagsalubong ang kilay niya nang mahimigang tila bumaba pa ang enerhiya nito. Was he disheartened with her answer? Hindi naman mahalaga ang presensiya niya roon. "Look at me and you tell me why can't I go there?" Itinuro pa niya ang sarili upang bigyang emphasis ang sinabi. Idinahilan niya ang kalagayan upang hindi makadulo sa premiere night ng pelikula nito dalawang araw mula ngayon.
"You're great."
Napabuntung-hininga siya at napahilot ng sentido. "Ewan ko sa 'yo, humanap ka ng kausap mo."
Bumuntung-hininga rin ito ng marahas at napasuklay sa buhok bago umupo sa gilid ng kanyang kama kaya bahagya niyang naiusod ang katawan palayo.
"Fine. If you can't go then, you have to make it up to me, and I know a way how," Harrison stated with a tinge of frustration and annoyance in his voice.
"Paano?" she indulged to end their argument. The sooner it ended the better, makakahinga na siya ng maluwag kung malayo ito sa kanya.
"This..." Sa pagkagulat ni Tara ay hinawakan nito ang kanyang mukha gamit ang dalawang malalaking kamay. Huli na para makaiwas siya dahil sinakop na nito ang kanyang mga labi.
Nanlalaki ang kanyang mga mata na napatitig sa mga mata ni Harrison na nakapikit. Nablangko ang kanyang utak at ilang sandaling hindi makapag-isip. She can feel the softness of his lips against her lips. He was moving against her slightly parted lips and his tongue was seeking entrance to her mouth.
Harrison slightly bit her lip, the reason why she regained her rational thoughts back and gasped inside his mouth at the same time. But instead of pushing him away and punched his face as the normal Tara Violet would do, she closed her eyes and started to mimic the movements of his lips and tongue.
Ilang buwan na niyang iniisip kung anong magiging lasa ng mga labi nito dahil sa tuwina'y natitikman niya iyon sa kanyang panaginip. When he kissed her for the first time, it was a brief and a safe kiss. Ang halik na ibinibigay nito sa kanya ngayon ay madiin at marubdob that her body started to get affected. She can feel the tingling sensation in her belly and the heat that ran through every nerve in her body.
She did not think of anything else aside from the kiss and the man kissing her. Mamaya na niya pagsisisihan ang nangyayari. Right now, all she wanted was to feed her curiosity and to satisfy the need that she didn't think she had. The need to feel his lips and his touch against her body. The warmth and the pleasure that he could give.
A groan came out of her lips when he suckled her tongue, his hand went to her back and pulled her closer to his body. Umangat ang kanyang kaliwang kamay patungo sa buhok ng binata. She took a fistful of his hair and angled her head to deepen the kiss. She boldly met his tongue halfway and kissed him the way she wanted it to be without minding the consequences of her actions.
A moan came out of her lips from time to time as she was completely lost to the abyssal with him. White heat flowed to the inner of her thighs, and she almost trembled with too intense passion.
He only released her mouth when they needed air to breathe, she didn't even think of breathing while his mouth was against her own. Instead of pulling away, her lips parted, and a delirious whimper came out her lips when his mouth found her earlobe and kissed the sensitive part of her ear.
Gumapang ang mga labi nito sa kanyang leeg ngunit hindi iyon nagtagal doon. He left a kiss on her neck before pulling away, opened his eyes and stared at her face to see her reaction.
Nang magmulat si Tara ng mga ito ay nagsalubong ang kanilang paningin ni Harrison. Cold and heat ran down her spine when she saw the intensity of passion in his eyes. He was looking at her with emotions he never dared to show to her before.
Hindi niya malaman kung ano ang gagawin habang naghahabol ng hininga. Will she slap him? Punch him in the face? Snarled at him? Really, Tara? sarkastikong turan niya sa sarili. You responded to his kisses. Kung hindi mo gusto, una pa lang itinulak mo na siya at sinuntok.
Paglipas ng ilang sandali ay sumilay ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Harrison na siyang ikinagulo ng kanyang utak. What was that smile mean? Was he just teasing her all along?
Agad niyang ipinagpag ang naisip. She clearly saw the desire in Harrison's eyes, he didn't kiss her to tease or mock her.
Hindi pa man siya nakakabawi sa nangyari ay muling lumapat ang labi ni Harrison sa kanya. Kahit papaano ay nagawa niyang hamigin ang sarili at itinulak ito. "T-Teka sandali..."
He pulled from the kiss, but their proximity was still close. His hand was gently caressing her flushed cheek, stared at her eyes for seconds before planting a kiss on her forehead, and finally released her and got on his feet.
"That's enough for me... for now."
Gustong maiyak ni Tara nang mabasa ang nasa mga mata nito. His eyes were spitting promises, and she knew by then that what happened to them at that moment didn't end there, it was just the beginning.
He crossed the line, and instead of pushing him away, she met him halfway.
Isang huling sulyap ang ginawa ni Harrison sa kanya bago tumalikod at lumabas sa kanyang silid. Bigla siyang nakaramdam nang panlulumo nang may mapagtanto nang maiwang mag-isa sa loob. Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, sa loob ng dalawamput-pitong taon ay nagkagusto siya sa isang lalaki. And that man happened to be Harrison. Yes, she liked him. Iyon lang ang nakikita niyang rason kung bakit iyon nangyayari sa kanya. She liked him, she desired him, she wanted him. And god knows what he was thinking about her.
She was scared beyond words, and she didn't know what to do or how to deal with her feelings for Harrison.
If only she could stop it. Subalit tumubo na iyon at mahihirapan na siyang bunutin.