"I thought you'll going to sleep?"
Matagal pa akong tumitig sa binabasa bago tuluyang tumingin kay Roge na bagong ligo.
"Nothing, I just want to tell you some kind of stories," sabi ko matapos isara ang libro.
I can smell the soap he used. He sat beside me while I am still trying to urge myself to talk.
"I am planning to meet him in jail tomorrow."
Natigilan siya sa pagpunas ng sariling buhok bago tumingin sa kinaroroonan ko.
"It's nothing. I just felt na masyado na akong napalayo. And I also need to talk to him to clarify something," I crossed my arms and met his eyes.
I could see the light of the moon in our position. I am still overthinking what this day brought. I could just let this thing pass but whenever I do they never letting me.
"Could you rest for tonight? Stop thinking anything else."
I don't remember when was the time I slept without worrying about things and I could sleep late.
"I am a bit shocked, I guess. She's entertaining, right?"
Imbes na sumang ayon siya ay tinaasan pa niya ako ng kilay. He knew that I never do compliments to others. I can't keep my mind to think what my 'so called' sister up to something.
"Do you want to know what I want to clarify to him?"
"Why? Are you going to share it with me? Then, tell me."
Nasisinagan pa rin ng ilaw mula sa buwan ang mukha niya ngunit makikinita mong interesado siya sa lahat ng sasabihin ko. I am still wondering why does this man loves me more than anything else.
"If I am his daughter."
I left him a serious face and go back by watching the light outside of the condo. The light is off and, we are just sitting on the sofa trying to process everything. He didn't talk. He didn't ask why I needed it. He just looked at me, trying to figure out what I said.
"That man always dislikes me. I don't remember when is the last time he became good to me. Natakpan lang lahat ng galit ang mga tanong ko mula pa noon. Ngayon lang din sumagi sa isip ko na kailangan kong malaman ang puno't dulo nito."
"Come here."
Umayos siya ng upo bago ako hinila papalapit sa kaniya. I can smell the manly scent of shampoo he used.
"When I was a kid, I remembered how my Mom got mad for something. He used to beat me up without trying to hear my reasons. After seeing that girl, I think, I could see how my Mom got mad. If she is my sister, I think they tried to bond with each other. I am not sad while thinking about this, I need him to tell me the truth."
Minsan matapang ako at minsan nanghihina din ngunit simula ng makita ko ang babaeng iyon ay hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano niya naitago sa amin na may anak pala ang magaling kong ama mula sa ibang babae. I could have let this things passed. I am still mad. That day made traumas in my heart and also in my mind. My mom realky tried to fought back beside me. I didn't feel the presence of having a father.
"One thing. Do you know why I am chasing after the Vp?"
I could feel his hand brushing my hair. Napapakalma ako nito. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang makaramdam ng antok dahil sa ginagawa niya. We are in danger but we still have time to do things like this.
"Why?"
"He may be the one who killed my Mom."
He stop brushing my hair. Inayos ko din ang pagkakaupo ko bago umalis sa pagkakadagan sa kaniya at muli siyang tinitigan.
"I told you, masyadong mahabang kwento para malaman mo ang lahat. The Vice President is after me because I have a few pieces of evidence that will make his living miserable."
I kept looking at him while watching his reaction.
"Are you- Are you saying that man in jail may not be a culprit?"
He was involved. He should be the one who may notice something strange.
"I never asked you. Do you want to elaborate also on what happened that day?"
I don't want to remember what happened but, I must know. How he tried to save my Mom.
"Where are we heading? Are you sure you want to know now? I couldn't tell you everything before. I tried but, you kept going away."
Napabuntong hininga pa ako bago muling napaayos ng upo. Isa iyon sa mga dahilan kung bkit nilayuanko siya. Sa tuwing nakikita ko siya ay naiisip ko kung paano niya siya isinalba.
"I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I think I should know today. I kept going far because I'm still afraid of truths."
Huminga siya ng malalim bago ako muling tinitigan.
"Kakatapos lang ng isang operasyon ko ng tumawag ang Mommy mo. That time I can still remember how he invites me to dinner with you. She knew you don't want to celebrate your birthday with parties."
He holds my hand and touches the ring on my finger. I never tried to remove it because I might misplace it.
"This is my gift that day. She wants you to take your off duty early so you can wear a nice dress she buy for you."
In no time, I can finally feel my eyes watery. I remembered how she made extra especially when my birthday came. I'm still hurt.
"I never thought that would be her last day. We knew you're busy. My intern called me when he heard about your Mom. I tried to call yiu but I couldn't reach you. Nasa kabilang hospital ka nakaduty kaya hindi mo alam na nagkakagulo na ang buong hospital ng malaman nila an nangyare sa Mommy mo-"
Natigilan siya sa pagsasalita at mabilis na pinunasan ang mga luhang bumabagsak sa mata ko.
"Please continue."
"Babe."
He tried to reach me and hug me peri tinanggal ko ang pagkakayapa niya at seryoso ko siyang tinitigan.
"Why didn't you try to call the hospital department for me?"
"Amber-"
"Please. I need to know. I need to have a peace of mind. Gusto kong matahimik na ang utak ko sa pag iisip ng kahit ano."
"I tried, pero pinigilan ako ng Director. Calvin knew and he even tried na tumakas para makita ang Mommy niyo. He got worse because of stress. I don't know what to do anymore-"
Hindi ko na siya pinatapos pa at mabilis na tumayo habang nagpunas ng luha ko. Imbes na mabawasan ang iniisip ko ay mad lalong nagulo ang utak ko.
Why did the Director do that? Is he involved? Why does he act like that?