"Maybe this is the reason why I never brought things up like this."
I couldn't help but to scratch my forehead over him.
"I know you'll get madder about this. I could have just told you before."
Kahit anong sabihin niya ay nadadagdagan lang ang galit ko. I shouldn't have let this things go far.
Sa sobrang inis ko ay binuksan ko ang sliding door papunta sa balcony upang makalanghap ng hangin. I couldn't breathe because of anger inside me. If they told me before head, Am I going to make it? Magagawa ko bang isalba siya? Hindi ko ba sisisihin ang lalaking nasa kulungan ngayon? Hindi ko ba sisirain ang sarili ko para lang maghiganti? As I tried to think like things like that, tuloy lamang sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko na para bang nag uunahan sila sa pagtulo. Mas lalo pang bumuhos ang mga luha ko ng sumagi sa alaala ko ang mga ngiti at tawa niya tuwing magkasama kame.
"H-hey..."
I remembered that day. I cried while hugging him like a kid. I am going crazy because I could have saved her Kung nalaman ko.
"Shhh."
I couldn't say a word because I kept crying out loud. It's been a long time I suffered to run over them, just to have justice. I thought everything would be fine after a month. I could have started a new life without resenting myself over and over because of what happened.
My heart aches a lot. I could have just shown up there and done something to make her alive. Whenever I remember things like this, I remember crying while studying law books and worried what's Calvin condition right now.
Ilang minuto matapos kong mapagod sa kakaiyak umalis ako sa pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya at pinunasan ang mga luha sa mata ko.
I breathe deeply while looking at him intensely. This is what that woman trying to say. Why did he choose to not tell me too? Do I know him? Rogen isn't dependable. If he knows what is right, he should tell me right away.
"I think I need to sleep now. I'm going to sleep on my bed."
Ayokong magalit sa kaniya. Ayokong pumasok sa utak ko na sinisisi ko siya. I nedd to calm myself and think more another scenario just to avoid to think of his decisions.
"Amber."
I left the balcony without saying another word and got to my room and locked it just to stop him from going inside.
'Do you know what he did?'
'Do you know him?'
I hate my mind to open my mind over him. I even told myself he is the only one I could trust. The fact that he never tried to call me because Director said he can resist on my mind.
I tried to sleep but whenever I close my eyes, I could see myself watching scenarios that Rogen told me.
He didn't try to knock and check on me. Hindi ko tuloy naiwasang tignan ang singsing sa daliri ko. He wanted to get married a long time ago. He has plans, but why he didn't decide to call me? He knew how I loved my mother.
I cried on my bed hugging a pillow trying to fool myself that I will be better tomorrow.
Halos umiyak ako magdamag hanggang sa hindi ko na namalayang nakatulog na ako. When I wake up, a fixed decision crossed my mind. I need to call Roigie. Calvin needs to be taken care away from these things. I know it from the start. Am I willing to go far away here and escape? I should haven't done things that will make it more difficult for me to go far.
"Hi! How are you? You never called again after our last talk?"
"Calvin will fly tomorrow there. I couldn't assist him there. I am not trusting you but, you know what happened to you if something happened to him?"
Roigie is the oldest son. He is a doctor too. I couldn't trust anyone anymore but, I should have to trust him because I can't find someone I should be trusting by now?
"What?! Are you serious? Hey! Wait! It's too early! I haven't arranged things yet!"
"I am with your brother right now. He's coming there too."
"What the hell?! Are you crazy?! And what about you? I'll that shit and tell him to stay!"
"Things will be fast by now. Get ready."
After I said that, I hung up and tried to think of my decisions. I'm maybe weak in terms of that past but, I am not weak to finish things first. After this, everything would be fine and, I could have just gone far.
Mabilis akong kumilos bago muling kinuha ang cellphone at tumawag.
"Good morning. Somethings up?"
I tried not to distract myself because of her attitude. She's approachable day by day.
"Calvin needs to fly after midnight. Tell your man to check everything first if Calvin can make it until the U.S."
"Why are you being rushed? Something happened?"
"Doctor Javier is preparing now to assist him after they landed there safe."
"I guess something happened? Well, good start we can meet today while 'My man' arranging our brother's Chart, secretly."
After that call, I tried to breathe and gulp before going outside. I need to act nothing's happened last night and go to the hospital with him and tell him for an emergency flight after meeting that woman today.
Napahinto lang ako sa paglalakad ng kumulo ang tiyan ko dahil sa amoy ng niluluto. This is not a good morning for me but he always taking care of me even he didn't know, I tried to blame some part of him because of my mother's death.
"You awake? I cooked breakfast. Let's eat."
Wala akong ganang kumain pa pero kumukulo na ang tiyan ko dahil sa pagod ng kakaiyak kagabi.
"Sit down."
Nagdadalawang isip pa ako hanggang sa pinili io ring kumain kasabay siya.
"We need to go back to the hospital now."
I told myself na hindi ko uubusin ang pagkain sa plato ko para mabilis makapunta da hospital. Calvin is in danger now. I changed my mind na hindi siya kayang galawin ng kahit na sino. Even the Director can do something bad to him.
"You haven't finished your food."
Isa sa mga ayaw ni Roge ang pagsasayang ng pagkain. I couldn't even digest the food I ate by now even if I'm hungry.
"I couldn't trust anyone now. I'm going downstairs now, finished your food," I seriously said and then walked downstairs.
To be continued...