Malungkot na pinagmasdan ni Dashielle si Wolf. Nakaupo ito sa damuhan at pinagmamasdan ang malawak na taniman ng cocoa. “Magmumukmok ka lang ba dito? Wala ka bang balak kausapin ako?”
Gulat itong lumingon sa kanya. “Dashielle! Hindi ako nagmumukmok. I just want to relax and be alone for a little while.”
“You are thinking about your mother, right?” Umupo siya sa tabi nito. “Wolf, ilang araw na tayong bumalik dito. I didn’t push you to talk about it. Akala ko kasi kusa kang magko-confide sa akin. You tried to act normally. Tumatawa ka at nakikipagbiruan sa iba. You are a good performer on stage. You can fool other people that you are happy but not me. Ayoko nang ganito. Mag-isa ka lang na nasasaktan. I-share mo sa akin kung ano ang nararamdaman mo.”
“I don’t want to burden you with my past. Gusto ko masaya ka kapag kasama mo ako,” anito at pilit na ngumiti.
Umiling siya. “It is useless. Hindi mo naman kasi maitatago sa akin kapag nasasaktan ka. At kapag nasasaktan ka, nasasaktan din ako. Mas mapapanatag ako kung ako ang nararamdaman mo. Let me help you.”
Tumingin ulit ito sa malayo at huminga nang malalim. “Huwag kang masasaktan dahil sa akin. For so many years, I’ve been dying to ask my mother why she left me. Iyon lang naman ang gusto kong malaman tungkol sa kanya. At sinagot niya ang mga tanong ko. Naiintindihan ko na siya ngayon.”
“I don’t understand! And I will never understand her why she left you and your father. Iyong ibang magulang, nagsasama kahit na di mahal ang isa’t isa para sa anak nila. O kaya nagpapakamatay sa hirap basta buo lang ang pamilya.”
“As you know, my mother is white. She was not used to the life in the reservation. Hind ko siya masisisi kung umalis siya. We have our own customs and tradition. Life in the reservation is hard. Unemployment, infant mortality, poverty… For an ambitious woman like her, it was no life at all.”
“But she left you behind!”
“With her stature right now, do you think the royalties will accept her to their circle if she has an Apache son? You heard her. She has no son with a savage. She has a fairy tale life now. She has a perfect daughter.”
His own mother deliberately rejected him. Pero sa halip na magalit ito, nanay pa nito ang iniintindi nito. “And that’s okay with you? Hindi mo ba ipaglalaban na ma-recognize ka niya bilang anak?”
“What for? Ayaw niya sa akin. Ang totoo, balewala na rin sa akin. Noong malaki na ako, tinanggap ko na lang na parehong patay ang magulang ko para hindi na ako masyadong umasa. Di ko naman alam na makikita ko pa ang nanay ko. Noon pa, sanay na akong di tinatanggap. Kahit sa reservation, di nila ako itinuring na kauri. Sure, I look like an Apache except for my eyes.”
“I thought they accept you as one of them?”
“Noong bumalik ako para sa foundation, saka nila ako kilala. I am part-white, part-Apache but I never belonged to both worlds.”
“It must be tough.” Naranasan na rin niyang ma-discriminate pero alam naman niya kung saan siya lulugar. Unlike Wolf. “Kaya siguro hindi ka nakikipag-usap sa iba noong bagong dating ka sa foundation. Basta ginagawa mo lang ang mga in-instruct sa iyo. Sasagot kapag tinatanong. You were so distant.”
He laced his fingers with hers and smiled warmly at her. “It all changed when I met you. Naramdaman ko na hindi ako iba sa inyo kahit na iba-iba tayo ng pinagmulan. You didn’t make me feel any different. At kapag kasama ko kayo pati na rin ang mga batang tinutulungan ko na magkaroon ng lugar sa mundong ito, parang hindi kawalan sa akin na di ako mahalin ng nanay ko. Kasi maraming nagmamahal sa akin. Wala akong dahilan para malungkot, hindi ba?”
She gently kissed his lips. “Even if your mother called you savage and Apaches doesn’t accept you fully, I think you are the most handsome man for me from both worlds.”
He grinned. “That’s why I love you.”
Nakahiga siya sa dibdib nito habang pinagmamasdan nila ang isa-isang paglabas ng mga bituin sa langit. Di rin nila napapansin na malamig ang hanging dala ng gabi. They were just satisfied to lie there. “Hindi ka ba natatakot na maging katulad ako ng nanay mo na iniwan ka? Remember that I left you once?”
“You will never be like her because I know that you love me. At kahit na umalis ka pa, babalik at babalik ka pa rin sa akin. You told me that I am the most handsome man for you. Why should you settle for someone else?”
Kinurot niya ang pisngi nito. “Hay! Hari ka talaga ng kayabangan.”
Nag-ring ang cellphone nito at dali-dali nitong sinagot. “Hello, Lady Kesca? What?” Bumadha ang pag-aalala sa mukha nito. “Okay.”
“Anong kailangan niya?”
Nakatulala lang si Wolf habang hawak ang cellphone. “My mother met a car accident. We have to come to Manila soon.”
NASA loob ng hospital suite ni Baroness Arabella sa St. Luke’s Medical Center sina Dashiella at Wolf. Si Kesca ang naabutan nila doon. Bumanggaa ang minamaneho nitong sasakyan sa railings sa gitna ng EDSA dahil nagmaneho ito ng lasing.
Nagtamo ng fracture sa iba’t ibang bahagi ng katawan ang baronesa at kasalukuyan pa ring walang malay. Ayon sa mga doctor ay ligtas na ito sa peligro at hihintayin na lang magising.
“Kasalanan ko ito,” mangiyak-ngiyak na usal ni Kesca. She found out that she was only Arabella’s stepdaughter. Anak ito ng namayapang baron sa isang Filipina. S Arabella na ang kinilala nitong ina nang mag-labindalawang taong gulang ito.
“She had been drinking since we came from Baguio. Kasalanan ko ito! Kung hindi ko sana siya pinilit na kilalanin si Wolf bilang anak.”
Gulat siyang lumingon dito. “Alam mo na?”
Tumango ito. “Napansin ko na hindi niya gusto si Wolf. And it was so irrational. She had always been civilized even to the people that she dislikes. I conducted my own investigation and found out about Wolf. Gusto ko na ipaalam niya sa lahat ng tungkol kay Wolf. Sa palagay ko ay karapatan mo iyon bilang anak niya. Pero natatakot siya na masira ang reputasyon niya. Masasakit lang na salita ang sinabi niya. She was drunk then and left the hotel. Akala ko nasa pool area lang siya. Galit na galit ako kaya hindi ko siya sinundan. Hanggang tawagan na lang ako para sabihin na isinugod na siya sa ospital,” kwento nito at napahagulgol. “Sana kinausap ko na lang siya nang maayos.”
Hinaplos niya ang likod nito. “It is not your fault.”
“I am sorry. Dahil sa pagmamalasakit mo sa akin, ganito ang nangyari,” malungkot na wika ni Wolf. “Huwag mo na siyang pilitin na kilalanin ako. You are her daughter now. Her life is perfect as a baroness. She might lose those because of me. Let’s just respect whatever she wants.”
“Ikaw pa rin ang anak niya,” wika naman ni Kesca. “Dapat ikaw ang kasama niya. Hindi kita masisisi kung ayaw mo siyang makita. She hurts you so badly. But I am begging you. Stay with her.”
“What if she wakes up and see me here? Baka makasama sa kanya.” Kahit na nakikita niya sa mata ni Wolf na gusto nitong makasama ang ina, nag-aalala pa rin ito na baka masamain iyon ng huli.
Ginagap niya ang kamay ni Wolf. “Dalawa tayong magbabantay sa kanya.” Anuman ang mangyari, ang importante ay kasama niya ito.
NAALIMPUNGATAN si Dashielle. Salitan silang nagbantay ni Wolf kay Baroness Arabella. Hinayaan muna nilang magpahinga si Kesca na ilang araw walang tulog. Natuwa siya nang maulinigan ang boses ng baronesa. Gising na ito. Subalit nawala ang tuwa niya nang marinig ang mga sinabi nito.
“What are you doing here? Do you want to see if I am dead? And are you happy now that I am hurt? Maybe you are laughing at me! I am a rotten mother. I deserve this!” anang baronesa at umiyak.
“I am glad to see that you are okay,” pormal na sabi Wolf. “I will just call the nurse’s station and ask them to look out for you. We are leaving.”
“No, Wolf! Hindi tayo aalis!” tutol niya.
“We are leaving,” mariing wika ni Wolf. “We will only make things worse.”
Di niya ito pinakinggan at hinarap ang baronesa. “Kesca asked Wolf to watch for you,” sabi naman niya bilang pagdepensa kay Wolf. “She was the one who called Wolf to come and see you. Can’t you at least show a little gratitude? Wolf barely slept for a couple of days. He cares for you because even if you are a rotten mother, he still cares for you.”
Hinaklit ni Wolf ang braso niya at bahagyang yumuko sa baronesa. “Rest assured that you won’t see me anymore. And don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. Get well soon, Baroness Arabella,” anito at tumalikod.
“Wolf, wait!” sigaw ng baronesa. Nang lumingon sila ay nakayuko na ito. “I am sorry.” Inangat nito matang basa ng luha at inilahad ang dalawang kamay. “Please stay, son.”
“You call me son?” hindi makapaniwalang usal ni Wolf. Noon lang kasi ito tinawag niyon ng baronesa. Kinikilala na itong anak.
Tumango ang baronesa. “Yes, Wolf. C-Can you hold me?”
Niyakap ito ni Wolf. Sa pagkakataong iyon ay tuluyan nang humagulgol ang baronesa. Wala na ang pagmamataas sa anyo nito. Sa pag-iyak nito ay naulinigan niya ang magkahalong lungkot at pagsisisi.
“I am sorry. I did the worst things to you. I will understand if you hate me You are my son, my own flesh and blood but I left you and denied you for so many times. I must admit that I didn’t even shed a tear when I left you. I was too full of my self. I had so many dreams. And now I understand that those dreams are worthless because I am not happy. I hurt the people whom I should cherish the most. I just wished I died when my car slammed so I can pay for my sins.”
“No, Mother. Don’t say that,” malumanay na sabi ni Wolf. “I don’t want you to die. Whatever you did, I still want you to be alive. I want you to be happy.”
“I don’t deserve to be called Mother. And I have no rights to be happy either. And your girlfriend is right. It would be your shame if anyone finds out that I am your mother. All I cared about is myself. I never loved anybody except myself. I only used people for my own gain. And I discard those people who have no use for me. Do you think I still deserve to live?”
“You are still breathing,” nausal naman niya. “It means that God has His own plans for you. He wants you to change and reflect on the things you did in the past. And you just did what you have to do. You faced your mistakes. You faced your son you ran away from. And I guess that is great.”
“I was wrong about so many things. I thought that money could make me happy. That I could hide the truth with it and buy people. I am sorry if I insulted you and Wolf. I am so humiliated with my self.”
Hinaplos ni Wolf ang mukha ng ina. “Mother, it’s over. You are forgiven. Life has been hard for me when you left. But I am not mad at you. It is your choice. You just did what you thought could make you happy. And I found my own happiness. I found people who accepts me for who I am.” Ngumiti sa kanya si Wolf at hinila siya sa tabi nito. “And I have the woman who loves me.”
“Y-You won’t leave my son no matter what?” paniniyak ng baronesa.
“I love him I was a young girl. And he is the only man that I want to live with for the rest of my life. I will take care of your son, Baroness.”
Umaliwalas ang mukha ng baronesa. Kahit paano ay nabawasan ang bigat konsensiya nito na makitang masaya si Wolf sa piling niya. Na maganda ang naging buhay nito sa kabila ng lahat ng pinagdaanan.
“Thanks for taking care of my son. From now on, the whole world will know that he is my son. I don’t care what will happen afterwards. I will do what is right.”
“KUMUSTA naman ang pagiging anak ng Baroness ng Mar Quinton, hmmm?” tanong ni Dashielle kay Wolf at kiniliti ng bulaklak ng talahib ang tainga nito.
Tinabig nito ang kamay niya. “Royalties, protocols… ughhh! Hinding-hindi na ako babalik doon kahit kailan. I will just stay here in Sagada. Dito pwede akong magyakap, umupo sa damuhan at walang makikialam kung ano ang suot ko.”
Dumalaw ito kay Baroness Arabella nang mga panahon na nasa tennis camp siya at nagte-training. Katatapos lang ng isang international series competition niya sa Japan kaya naisipan niyang dumalaw na rin sa Pilipinas.
Matapos kasi ang Wimbledon sa susunod na buwan ay ila-launch na ang tennis clinic niya na pinagtutulungan ni Wolf, ng mga Lizardo at ng mga sponsors niya. Iginiit niya na ang maging pilot beneficiaries ay kabataan ng Cordillera at sa Manila. Maraming response sa project niya kaya mabilis tumakbo ang project.
“Balita ko halos lahat ng scholars natin sa cultural group, honor students. Perhaps I should treat them tomorrow.”
“With torta blitz and brownies?” Pinisil nito ang pisngi niya. “Baka nakalimutan mo na napagalitan ka ng dietitian mo nang bumalik ka sa tennis camp dahil maraming pounds ang kailangang ibawas sa iyo sa kakakain mo.”
“Konti lang naman,” nakangisi niyang sabi.
“So what will be your next project after the sports clinic?”
“A sports apparel shop is a nice idea. Ayokong umalis ng tennis world nang walang nai-invest para sa future natin. Tapos kapag nag-quit na ako sa tennis, pwedeng dito na lang tayo sa Sagada mag-settle, hindi ba?”
Niyakap siya nito at pumikit. “Yes. This is like a real home to me.”
“How about your house at the reservation?”
“Dadalaw-dalawin na lang natin. May mga tao akong pinagkakatiwalaan don.”
Tumingala siya nang maramdamang may pumatak sa mukha niya. “Wolf, umuulan. Sumilong na tayo.”
“No. Dito lang tayo. The rain is perfect,” he said then passionately kissed her.
It was perfect. Wala na yata siyang mahihiling pa. After a long, long draught at the desert, there is rain. And a new life would begin. Katulad nila ni Wolf na natamo ang kaligayahan matapos ang maraming pagsubok.
“I love you, my rain,” he whispered.
She smiled. She would always be Wolf’s rain.