These thoughts caused chaos in my mind as I lost my ability to think and filled up with ultimate consternation.
My heart, in that moment, I desired nothing but to become the light of her dark sky. I wanted to become the hand she can hold onto and never let it go.
“What have you done to yourself, Rebecca?” I asked myself in fright.
I wanted the spark of hope which will ignite that endless fire of happiness in her now. All this time, I pushed her away, now she needs me and I will not back away now.
“Why?”
I don't know about love but I will surely become her salvation. And I understood it's not our unsavory redemption but her unsavory redemption.
Like the more she tries to isolate herself from me the more I'll reach out to her.
“I won’t let you reside there anymore.”
I'll stir her mind as she won't be able to push me away even if she wants to and I'll be the one she strives for.
‘I'll become her redemption.’
I walked down and looked at her, since today is Saturday, I am home and I have decided to share some memorable times with her.
"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked with a frown, putting her hands over her waist.
“And you didn’t even freshen up. What took you so long?” She scolded.
Why is her frown so pretty? I thought with a smile, unable to rip my eyes from her aesthetic features.
“Why are you smiling?” She asked, noticing my intense stare.
"Anything. You don't have to ask me all the time, I will eat anything prepared by you."I said, pinching her nose which kinda startled her.
"How about poison?" She asked with a smirk.
"If it tastes good." I said, shrugging my shoulders, she laughed a little and turned to leave but I held her arm.
“What?” She asked, blushing faintly when I smirked darkly at her.
“You laugh is beautiful.” I whispered, enhancing her blush, leaning down to her face.
“Y-Your breath stinks. Go and brush.” She muttered, turning her head away, trying to control a shy smile but failed.
How Adorable.
“Okay.” I smiled, letting her go as she ran away, I chuckled, shaking my head and went to freshen up.
I took a seat and waited patiently for her, she cooked pancakes for us. We sat down and began to eat in silence but I continued to affix my eyes on her graceful features.
"Ryan…" She called me. I hummed in response as she began to say,
"I.. need to go with Marianne back to Boston."
Somehow, the mention of Marianne made my heart clenched but I didn't show it. I stopped eating and looked at her perplexed and asked.
"Why? Is everything okay?" I asked, trying to sound cool and unaffected.
"It's tomorrow.." She said, looking down, biting her bottom lip. I noticed how her body was stressed only by speaking.
"What?" I asked, worried what she was talking about.
"Jane's death anniversary, The only day I visit her."
"And what about other days?" I asked tentatively.
"I don't have enough courage... Anyways, I will leave tonight and come back on Monday." She said hurriedly, shaking her head quickly, acting rather different and softer with a hint of fear.
"If that's it, we can go together, I'll also visit her grave." I offered, putting my hand over hers, giving them a gentle squeeze.
"You don't want me to go with Marianne?" She asked innocently. Yes.
"No, she is your sister, why would I stop you? I just thought I could also visit her." I tried to reason nonchalantly. She nodded and began to say,
"Okay, But, I want to tell you a few things." I looked at her intently, waiting for her to continue,
"First, you will not talk to Papa, I don’t want that man anywhere near us. Second, we will stay in a hotel. I won't go back to that house. Third, if I meet Marianne, you will not stop me and let me talk to her."
I listened to her carefully as a lot of questions came to my mind.
"Okay fine. But why don't you want to meet your father?" I asked.
"You still want to know? That man threw me out, he is the reason we are here.” She said furiously but it pricked my heart.
‘Because I don’t regret that we are here at this moment, Do you?’
I nodded, not asking about it and after a pause I asked hesitantly.
"Rebecca.. How.. Your sister died?"
She stopped eating and stilled. Her face was stoic as she was frozen as if she was a statue.
She was motionless as her eyes flicker with immense sorrow.
She remained like that and I shook her shoulders slightly, she dragged out of her thoughts, her breath hitched and looked at me with a hint of pure appall.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to-"
Before I could finish my sentence as she stood up and said hurriedly.
"I-I have to go."
And she ran off. I grit my teeth and walked after her as I called her.
"Rebecca, Look, I am sorry I shouldn't have asked."
I held her arms and turned her to me. Her gaze was lost, she seemed stressed. It seems like my words evoked some bad memories in her; her face was dismayed.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to panic.” I hummed, soothing her.
She clutched my shirt and turned her head away from me. I wrapped one hand around her back and pulled her close to me.
I moved my other hand close to her face and caressed it gently as I leaned in and reassured her.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. Everything will be alright."
She slowly lifted her dazzled gaze and met mine and asked, breathlessly, hurriedly, consider our proximity a lie.
"Why are you trying to change? Why don't you want me to be miserable anymore? Don't you want revenge anymore?”
“We betrayed you. Hate me. I deserve to be resented- everyone does. Everyone leaves me, you will too. Why are you pulling me close to you? Why are you doing-"
Before she could ramble on further I pressed my lips upon her to seal her perturbation by my action. She was shocked and didn't move and I moved my lips slowly.
She was taken back and didn't dare to push me away. Her grip on my shirt tightened as I could hear the sound of her loud and rapid heartbeat.
She wanted to push me away but she can't, every inch of her core doesn't want me to get away. Won’t accept but she needs my warmth… badly.
I am breaking the walls of fakeness she made and she is vulnerable, she can't even stop me even if she wants to.
‘I'll liberate you, you deserve to be happy.’
I slowly pulled away as a trail of saliva connected my lips to hers.
She was breathless, she didn't kiss me back but she didn't push me away either. A blush crept upon her cheeks as I stared at her.
Her flushed reactions truly are tempting. I kissed her cheeks affectionately and pulled away a little.
"We will leave tonight, okay?" I said softly, smiling faintly.
She just gave me a nod as I let go of her and she ran off.