"Rebecca…" I heard him calling me, shifting after being woken up by my sound.. I bit my cheeks as I remained motionless.
I didn't dare to utter a sound and quickly wiped my tears. He groggily rubbed his eyes and lifted his head as I hummed in response looking at him. “Yes?”
"You okay?" He asked with narrowed eyes as it was difficult to see my face in darkness.
"Yes.. " I replied faintly. He shifted and held his hands out to me.
"Come. Sorry I didn't give you any space to lay." He apologized sweetly, pulling me down.
"It's okay. You sleep, I am not sleepy." I said.
A squeak escaped my lips when he held my wrist and in a swift moment pulled me close to him.
He let out a quiet laugh and said, "Who said anything about sleeping?"
He wrapped his hands around me and nuzzled me and began to whisper, "It's nice to hold onto something…"
I closed my eyes and curled my toes. I inhaled deeply and held my urge to hold him close inside me.
“It’s okay to cry. To feel sorrowful but it’s not okay to let it consume your heart.” He whispered, holding me protectively in his arms.
I don't want to hold you. I swallowed hard and turned and faced the wall. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing his chest harder on my back.
“I.. I…” I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out as he tightened his grip on me.
“It’s okay, you can cry on my shoulder, I won’t push you away.” He murmured, I could feel his smile on my neck, becoming the equanimity I never received.
“Why would you? Who am I to you?” I asked in a croaked voice.
“I believe you know who I am to you.” He whispered, kissing my shoulder, caressing me to become my comfort.
Closing my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek, remembering the name of our tale, the name that old woman gave to our journey…
Unsavory Redemption.
Closing my eyes, I shut my eyes and spent the rest of my night in his arms, finding my solace in his vicinity unwillingly.
The next day, my heart stopped as dread built inside me. Ryan held my hands and gave them an assuring squeeze as I looked at him and passed him a faint smile.
We went to the cemetery and my heart got heavy and heavy. I shivered violently when we reached her grave.
A sad smile formed on my lips as I put the bouquet of white roses; her favorite over her grave.
At that moment, I felt like there's no one with me and I can let loose. I lowered my head and began to say,
"Hey…”
“A lot happened Jane. But the two main things are: First, I am married and second, I finally left that haunted house.” I whispered.
“The house filled with nothing but the sound of your screams and my misery..”
“But, I am not complaining, after I left that home, I rarely have nightmares, maybe you were right about the house being possessed.” I chuckled dryly.
“A lot happened, Ryan.. My husband.. He loved Marianne, so much that I can't even explain it. So much so that when he saw that his bride was me, not Marianne, he broke.” My smile faded, biting my cheeks.
“I think you can guess what would have happened. I.. I didn't want to do this. He is such a gallant guy, like the Prince Charming you spoke of.” I said, glancing at him for a second.
“But.. His heart is broken, he is hurting and I.. I can't do anything for him. He is going through that because of me because I have become a burden to Papa and he wanted to throw me away and he did…" I lowered my head and began to say in a croaked voice,
"Jane, I lost my path. It's too dark even though I cannot see in it. You scared me too much.. So much that I am petrified to even hold the hand trying to reach me.” I sniffed.
“Living in the insecurity of losing my ray of hope, afraid to lose my liberation. My dreams shattered, I have lost my will to live, you were my other half, how could you do this to me?"
Tears streamed down my face as I began to cry and continued.
"I have asked myself this over and over again, why you? You could have talked to me about it, I was willing to leave everything behind for you.” Growling, I curled my hands in a fist.
“All you need is just to talk to me, I wasn't blind you were. And you took my sight too. I can't see, I am lost. Why did it have to be you? Why can't it be me?” I asked, losing my posture.
“It's like I am crumbling apart and you are laughing at me, happy that I am not what I used to be. You can't think like that, don't you?...” I asked, expectantly knowing its answer deep down.
“And Ryan… he.. when he loved Marianne why is he trying to get close to me? We both know it, his heart is with Marianne then why is he trying to hold me close. I.. I am afraid to hold his hand..” I confessed, oblivious, that he was listening too.
“He is pushing me deeper into the abyss… I have lost my track.. Please guide me.. Please.. I beg you.. Let go of me.. I.. can't take it anymore.. “ I began to cry out loud.
“It is hurting me, stirring my mind in agony. Making me feel pathetic. I am burning mercilessly, please spare me some calmness, it's becoming unbearable. Your wraith will take my life one day.” I sniffed, wiping the tears.
“Stop it.. I can't take it anymore. I am hurting.. I can’t… Stop it.. please…."