"I-I want you."
"And for what?" I said, leaning in.
"T-To have a photoshoot with me." I raised an eyebrow at him. Not understanding his words.
"Why do you need it?"
"I am getting paid for it." Upon hearing it, the only person that came to my mind was Papa.
He can do anything to get what he wants. I don't think anyone else would do this. I felt disgusted, ashamed to call that person my father.
I know Carlos must be scared now but he can spread the news of it.
I grit my teeth and pushed him away. I put my one hand on one side of him and leaned in and spoke slowly warning him.
"If something beyond my imagination happens.. I won't hesitate to commit a murder, understood?" he nodded and quickly left.
"FUCK!" I yelled and kicked the sofa after he left. Marianne began to cry as she fell on the ground.
"Rebecca I am so sorry.. You are getting in trouble because of me again and again. I am sorry, I am so sorry." She cried, horrified.
I wanted to yell at her to grow up, to learn some responsibility but she is all I- She and Ryan are the only person I treasure.
Doesn’t matter who is older or younger, protecting my sister is my duty as the prodigy of my home.
"That shows I am alive. Not a piece of scum breathing but a human being, overcoming obstacles." I said with a smile looking at her. I went to her and bent to her level. I hugged her and kissed her forehead.
"Then share it with me." She held me as I tried to console her.
"I am. Look, you are sharing tears in my place, you are sharing my feelings." I spoke faintly.
"It's okay.. It will pass."I said, rubbing her back.
She held my collar and looked at me in grief as she whispered desperately, "What if it doesn't?"
Upon hearing it, mine and Ryan's moment came to my mind as a smile crept upon my lips.
I cupped her cheeks and assured her with the words Ryan gave me, "I will make it."
She smiled and hugged me tightly and we remained like that.
"Mari-Jane-Acca." She whispered.
I kissed her head and replied, "Mari-Jane-Acca."
The next day, I did what made me feel great disgust. I did a photoshoot with him and the pose which I found most revolting was I was sitting on his lap with my arms wrapped around his neck.
I felt contrite at myself, I couldn't look at my reflection in the mirror. How will I meet Ryan and his parents' gaze when they see it?
"You better not show it to Ryan." I hissed at Carlos, digging my nails in his arms to which he winced.
"I will give it to the one who gave me money."
"And who is it?"
"I don't know." He said quickly. I pushed him away and left. I took a deep breath and passed Marianne a smile who was looking distressed.
I must find out who it is but all my people were working under Papa and to find out, I had to contact him. But, I swear if it was Papa, I would kill him.
I turned my back on them. My heart was being clenched in someone's hands and it hurt a lot. My heart was torn into a million pieces.
I feel like a slut, touching another man other than Ryan gives me repugnance, my heart is getting heavy by each passing second and the facade I was showing was breaking slowly, giving me the feeling of immense pain.
My heart felt betrayed, I just don't know how I will tell Ryan about it and how he will react.
Filled with heartbreak, I went home. I saw Mr Knight, reading a book. I walked to him and sat beside him.
"Mr Knight.." I called him. He looked up and smiled at me.
"What is it, dear?"
"Don't you hate me? What have I done to Ryan?" I asked in a low voice, looking down.
"What did you do? Ryan was smiling, he was happy. When he is happy to be with you then how can I hate you. Besides, I have seen the devotion shining in your eyes." He said. I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped the tears which pricked in the corner of my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I sniffle and began to say in a croaked voice,
"Can I call you Dad like Ryan does?"I asked hopefully. He laughed and put the book aside. He put his hand over my head and patted it.
"Of course. You can." Tears began to fall from my eyes as I murmured.
"Dad... " A silent tear rolled down uncontrollably.
I lowered my head and began to say, "I am afraid of being saved.. And he is trying to save me. It makes me feel strange.”
“What I never felt before, it is giving me tranquility but at the same time breaking me...Dad.. I don't know what I should do. Can I love Ryan? Can he love me?" I asked., desperately.
Please say he loves me. Please say he loves me.
"He loves you. That's why he is doing all this for you." my eyes widened in disbelief. But my heart felt happy upon hearing it. I couldn't ask for more.
"Look, Rebecca, If he is saving you, if he is becoming your redemption, then don't leave him but if he is ruining you, becoming your devastation, then leave him before something happens." Dad explained, I nodded. Wiping my tears.
"I miss him." I mumbled. Dad smiled and ruffled my hair.
"I have always wanted to ruffle my daughter's hair, I wanted a daughter. I once made him wear a princess gown when he was a baby but don’t tell him, " Dad said. I let out a chuckle and shook my head.
"You are a sweet kid." He said, rubbing my head.
"How so?" I asked.
"Sarah speaks so bad of you still you didn't say anything to her. You cared for Ryan so much and you are a strong girl." I giggled and pulled away.
I wiped my tears and smiled, "I am glad I talked to you." I stood up and went to my room. I closed the door behind me and leaned on it as I fell on the ground.
A sob escaped my lips, what have I done? I shouldn't have done the photoshoot. Guilt ate me up, I felt deep remorse for my doing.
How will they react when they come to know about it?