We both began to cry as I whispered, "Please. Don't leave me again papa... "I cried, holding Papa's hands like there is nothing more safe than this for me.
"I promise. I won't, I am sorry I am sorry." He cried. He pressed his forehead against mine as we remained like that. I felt paradise to have the support of my father.
I feel like I can achieve anything now. Our cries came.to a halt. We pulled away, Marianne was also crying looking at us.
I held my hand out to her as she came and hugged me. We hugged each other after years but I felt incomplete. I turned my gaze and saw Ryan smiling at me.
My heart. Just can't be convinced that it locked me. I moved my hand and held his. He looked at me hesitantly.
I passed him a faint smile, he held my hands firmly as he moved close to me and we had a family hug. My heart felt calm, I have everything with me in this arms of cherished relations.
I have found my faith, the reason for my breath. The morning of my endless night of unbearable suffering.
We pulled away slowly, I wiped my tears.
“I am.. Tired..” I murmured.
“You should relax now, don’t stress yourself.” Ryan said instantly.
“Hmm.” My heart felt light now, feeling feeble happiness inside me. I smiled and closed my eyes, drifting to a lull.
After spending a devilishly long time; 4 days at the hospital, I was finally discharged.
My body felt so weak and empty while a ravage stormed in my mind. The devotion of Ryan made me feel like he has no faults but his words-
'I shouldn't have left you'
Are stirring my mind. I don't know what I should do. Please someone guide me.
Finally these medical instruments are off from me. I let out a sigh of relief and raised my head and saw Ryan smiling at me.
“I am glad you are discharging.” He whispered, He reached his hand to me but I yanked it away. His smile faded as I turned my head away.
"Rebecca.. " He called sorrowfully.
"Please, Ryan.. Don't." I whispered.
He drew his hand back and passed me an assuring smile but I can see the pain behind it. Why are you hurting that much?
“Oh, Rebecca.” Marianne came and hugged me. Papa patted my back. Marianne pulled away but I held her hand,
“I want to go with you...” I whispered. “To your place...”
Everyone was taken aback when I said that but I kept looking at her expectantly and sadly.
She spared a glance at Ryan who was looking down, trying to contain his feelings. She then nodded and helped me to stand.,
“Should I get a wheelchair?” Papa asked, concerned. I passed him a faint smile and shook my head no.
“Baby, you have to. Hospital rules.” Papa frowned sadly.
“I see…” We were about to leave but Ryan held my hand weakly. My heart clenched as I lowered my head and bit my lower lip.
“Please.. don’t leave me, Rebecca.. “ He whispered in a broken voice.
I swallowed hard and replied back in a whisper, “I also called for you..”
“Then don’t repeat the mistake again..” My lips began to quiver, no matter how much I tried to pull myself away from him, my heart couldn’t.
I began to shake, I felt like there were some shackles around me which were refraining me to turn around, to hold him, to believe he was innocent and breaking those restraints.
I turned and hugged Ryan tightly, crying out.
“Please don't let me go ever again! Ryan.. Please.. please… I am nothing without you.. Please..” I cried, hugging him close, never wanting to let him go.
“Me too, Rebecca, Me too.”
He wrapped his arms around me and I felt so safe and complete in his arm. He consoled me, holding me like a treasure. unspoken words are shared by us.
We want to cry out loud but can’t and die to let the agony out but couldn't but the feeling of adoration for each other is so intense that nothing can pull us apart.
“Please don’t leave me alone again.” I whispered desperately.
“I won’t… I won’t.” He whispered, holding me tightly.
We slowly pulled away, I held his shoulders, relying all my support on it. Ryan wrapped his arms around me and picked me like bridal style.
I didn’t lift my gaze, my lips were quivering, my eyes were teary, my lips gaped wanting to say something but my voice was stuck in my throat.
I held him like I am mere dust without him and he is the one who kept me together, saving me from swaying along the wind.
‘I am the remains of that fire whose ashes he values more than anything.’
He then took me back to our home. I shivered when I remembered what happened, when the memory of that moment flashed in my mind.
“Ryan!” My grip around him tightened. I buried my face in his chest, feeling petrified. Horrified to hear those heartbreaking voices again.
"It‘s okay, Rebecca.. I am here. There are no nightmares.” He said soothingly.
“Promise?” I sniffed and asked innocently..
“I promise.” He pulled me closer to him. I relaxed in his arms but my breath was hurried, being scared.
We entered, my heart began to beat fast in dread, filled with apprehensive thoughts, I began to pant.
When we were about to reach our room I whispered-yelled, “Don’t! Anywhere but not in that room. Please!”
I shut my eyes, gripping his shoulders tightly, shaking in vexation.
“Okay, okay. Relax, we are not going there.”
He moved back and took me to the room in front of this which was supposed to be mine when we got married.
“There. Okay?” He gently placed me on the bed, and sat beside me, holding my hands, the way my fingers intertwined with his; the feeling of content is unexplainable.
I kept looking down, holding his hands. A silence fell upon us, it was everlasting serene but at the same time, a loudest scream of curse as I decided to break it.
“Why did you leave me?” I asked faintly. He kissed my hand and replied,
“I thought I was liberating you but I wasn’t. I should have held you close to me, I should have talked to you about it instead of leaving you all alone. It’s my fault. I am sorry.” He whispered sorrowfully.
Looking at him like this broke my heart, his dejection evoked a feeling of heartbreak in me.
“Why did you lock the door, Ryan?”