My heart was torn to countless pieces. Regret ate me upon seeing her like this.
She let out loud sobs as tears also rolled down my cheeks in heartbreak and remorse as Rebecca began to say between the sobs.
"Please Ryan.. I beg you. Take everything away from me.. But.. But please.. Don't do this for me.. I.. I can't live without you.. You are my everything.” She cried.
“My life.. My breath.. My heartbeat.. My smiles.. My reason to live.. Everything resides in you. Please don't take it away… please don't leave me.. I will do anything. But please.. Don't hate me. Don't leave me…”
Her words evoked woeful tears, the realization that my presence is all she needs and I failed to realize this.
“You are my hope for tomorrow.. After taking me out from the abyss. Don't leave me there anymore. After becoming my light, don't fade away.. Please, I beg you Ryan. Don't do this to me…" She begged, lowering her head.
A loud gasp of sob escaped my lips as I held her hand and kissed them, releasing the sob of anguish in my chest.
Our sobs mixed up and filled the absence of the sound. We both are hurting, I failed to notice how she was breaking apart without me.
I couldn't help but to cry at our misery; in penitence. My heart bursting from pain, I kept kissing her hand and began to say desperately,
"I am sorry Rebecca.. Please don't cry.. I was so foolish to push you away.. I.. I thought it was all my fault that.. I was on the verge of losing you… I thought I was your culprit..” I sobbed, kissing her hands, praying to never leave it again.
“I failed to recognize your feelings.. I am sorry.. I am so sorry.. Please forgive me.. I swear.. I didn't mean to hurt you intentionally.. I am sorry… I couldn't notice that you need me. I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry.” I continued to apologize for my delusional actions.
For the anguish I gave to both of us.
“Doctor Herd said my presence is your affliction that you are overly dependent on me. I had no choice… I thought you could be happy without me.” I whispered, telling her the reason.
“No, Ryan. I need you. I don’t need anything.” She whispered back, not leaving my hand.
“I am so sorry but I can’t bear these distances anymore too. They will kill me. I know it would be extremely hard but I will try my best to be a better man for you.” I cried, giving her hand a tight squeeze.
“To be someone you can trust, to stay and support, I won’t repeat my mistake. I am sorry, I strayed but I won’t do it again. I know your redemption lies in me and I take this responsibility.” I enunciated sternly, not backing away anymore.
“Please.. I didn't mean to leave you. I want to stay with you forever. I am so sorry. Just forgive me this time, I won’t lose track again."
I kept on crying out loud, letting out the anguish burning in us. She moved close to me and hugged me.
I wrapped my arms around her as we both cried our hearts out. Tears showed the pain we both went through, the damage caused by me crushed us.
We both hugged each other with no intention of letting go. Like there is no safe-shelter other than these arms of consolation for us.
The wave of serenity to be this close rushed in our every vein. Embracing each other and receiving immense solace from it.
Our hearts are connected and we can feel the pain of each other. It was devastating. These arms are the most protected thing for us in the whole world.
She nuzzled my neck and began to say faintly, "Please don't leave me. I can't live without you.. I need you in my life.”
“Me too… Me too.” I hummed, finding my heavenly solace in her proximity.
“Just the thought of losing you sucks my life out of me. Every moment I spent without you is meaningless. I want nothing but you to hold my hand and move forward.” She said, kissing my neck.
“I am willing to drown myself in the depth of despair if it can help me to get you. You don't know how much you mean to me. Your name is carved on my very soul. I want nothing but you. Please don't leave me, Ryan."
I hugged her tightly and kissed her neck, holding her desperately.
"Rebecca, I am so sorry to do this. I caused you to crumble apart. I was lost in the delusion that I am your ravage as I turned ignorant of your redemption. Rebecca, Even if I die my heart would be yours. You are the meaning of my life.” I confessed.
The emotions we buried in our chest for an unimaginably long time are now releasing themselves.
“Even if this world breaks apart I will be yours. Today, I realized Rebecca that I am petrified to lose you. I am so complete with you, I cannot live without you. If I have you I want nothing.” I whispered in-depthly.
“My heart beats for you, my breath is yours. Rebecca, you mean the world to me, I cannot even imagine spending a second without you. Please forgive me." I apologized sincerely.
She sniffed and I cupped her cheeks, "Promise there will be no more distance."She whispered.
"I promise with my life. " I whispered back. We pulled away a little. I wiped her tears and rested my forehead against hers and remained like this for a while.
Filling with oceans with incomprehensible depth which held the feelings of allure and dedication. We held hands and the way her fingers intertwined with mine, it's so perfect.
A heavenly calmness washed over me to have with me. She is the medicine for my every illness.
I desire nothing but her. I moved my hand to her neck and pulled her close to me.
We both were panting, her face was so close to mine. My heart skipped a beat when her breath lingered on my face.
“You are my redemption, Ryan.” A shiver went down my spine when I heard it as I slowly raised my gaze and met hers.
Her eyes bore into mine, reflecting a look of eternal love and devotion. A deep yet rapid breath escaped my lips when I pulled her close.
“You too, you are the reason I exist.”
My heart began to beat fast as a wave of euphoria of holding her surged through me. Intoxicated in her, my urges took the best of me.
Her hands moved to my hairs, pulling them slightly.
“You are the most exquisite woman I have ever seen.”
I pulled her into my laps as she let out a soft voice of astonishment and held my shirt. A blush crept upon her cheeks and she looked adorable.
“My deepest, darkest desires…” I found myself losing my aesthetic desires for her.
My heartbeat synchronized with hers, moving so close to each other slowly embedding the feeling in us and receiving a great contentment from it.
“You too…” She closed her eyes, flushed.
I moved closer and pressed my lips upon hers. Her breath hitched, I slowly moved my lips and she moved her lips in sync with mine. A beautiful feeling filled me.
The treasured feeling of kissing her is inexplicable. Immersing myself in the pools of love for her, I deepened the kiss. Desperate to feel her, yearning for her.
I kissed her deeply. The more I feel for her, the more my life makes sense and I find myself. The delicacy of her lips entangled me in those everlasting feelings of affection.
She slowly opened her eyes as I pulled away, with my eyes not leaving hers.
"Rebecca." I whispered breathlessly.
"Ryan.. "She whispered back softly. I finally confessed. Utterly bewitched in her, I finally confessed to which she also smiled and replied.
"I love you, Rebbecca with my every breath, with my every desire which starts with you. I love you with all my heart and always will."
"I love you too, Ryan. I will love you till my last breath. You are my everything. I pray that our love will remain eternal as the sky and earth admire it for how much I love you."
...I got washed away along the wave of seas which held your tears in it.
I found redemption in the prison which held your memories in it.
Denial can't do any good because my soul has your love in it.
Every breath has your name because I found Unsavory Redemption in it...
The End.