Tumakbo ako palayo. Imbes na si Levi ang tatakbo pero ako 'yong tumakbo. I'm sorry, God. Sobrang hina ko. Mahinang-hina ako. Wala akong silbi!
"Ahh!" Nadapa ako sa lupa. Mas lalo akong naluha at humagulgol.
Bakit? Bakit!
"You are just hurting yourself, Rishell."
"Shut up!"
I've tried to stand up and I did. Paika-ika akong naglakad palayo kay Levi. Narinig ko na naman ang halakhak niya. "You are weak. God will not use you. You can not win against me. I am far more stronger than you, Rishell. Give up now. Give up to me, Rishell!"
Marahas akong lumingon sa kaniya. Nakangisi siya at nakahalukipkip. Triumph was written all over his face. Siguro dahil... nakikita niya kung gaano ako kadesperadang lumayo sa kaniya. Na imbes siya ang matatakot, ako na ang takot sa pagitan naming dalawa.
"Y-You..." hina kong bulong.
"What's with me, Rishell?" ngisi niyang tanong. "What's with me?" nang-aasar pa niyang tanong.
"Give me back my L-Levi..."
Humalakhak siya. "You are begging? I thought you have your God? Such a waste. God will never use you because you are weak. He will never use a person like you, Rishell. What do you have against me? You beg. Continue it, sweetheart. I like to hear your cry." Natawa na naman siya. "You did nasty things. You have greatly sinned against God. Why would He use you? Look at you now, Rishell. You can't even defeat me. So why would God use you?"
"You demon!"
Naalala ko ang isang Bible verse.
"You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)"
The devil is the father of lies. I must remember that. Ang nakasulat pa sa Hebrews 8:12, "For I will be merciful to the unrighteous, and their sins, and their lawless deeds, I will remember no more."
Tama. When I confessed my sins and that Jesus is Lord, and believed in my heart that God raised Him from the dead, I was justified and saved. God will no longer remember my sins.
Yes. I am born again now. I am born from the Spirit and truth.
Bigla, may umusbong sa akin na tapang. May umusbong sa aking apoy. Bumilis bigla ang tibok ng puso ko. Nanginig ang kalamnan ko sa biglang pag-iba ng emosyon ko. Umihip ang hangin sa pagitan namin. Pumikit ako.
"Father, in the name of Jesus, You hold the whole universe in Your hand. You've created everything, seen or unseen. You have the dominion and power over the enemy. Your light can shake the darkness for You are the great Light.
I stand here, having girded my waist with Your truth, having the breastplate of Your righteousness, having shod my feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, having the shield of faith which will protect me from the darkness, having the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God."
You alone are worthy of glory and praise and worship and thanksgiving. I pray for Your guidance and strength to endure the trials, and that the enemy's darkness in this place will be broken by Your great light, for Your glory and honor alone, God. This I ask in the name of Your Son, amen."
Naramdaman ko ang paglakas ng hangin sa paligid. Minulat ko ang mga mata. Halos manginig ang kalamnan ko sa lakas ng presensiya Niya sa loob-loob ko. Pumikit ulit ako at huminga nang malalim. Nanginig ang kamay ko.
Dumilat ako at nakita ko ang tumatakbong si Levi. Pero napahinto siya sa pagtakbo at napaluhod. Narinig ko ang daing niya. Narinig ko rin ang sigaw niyang pakawalan siya.
Boldness engulfed my being so I stepped closer to him. A sudden gush of wind passed by me. I can feel the Spirit of God moving inside of me. It lit a fire in my heart. I can feel something in my back and I pictured out on my mind... wings.
My heart started to pump faster as I took a glimpse of the unseen. Angels surrounded the area. It is true... all things in heaven and on earth were being subjected to Jesus Christ. And no name in heaven or in earth can save the soul but only the powerful name of Jesus.
"Errr uhhh...," daing ni Levi.
Tumayo ako sa harap niya at tinaas ang kamay. I prayed. Pinikit ko ang mga mata at nagdasal. I let the Spirit take over. I surrender it all to the Holy Spirit. And something inside me... changed. The language I utter become unfamiliar. But still the peace is still there and I can feel the Spirit moving.
Speaking tongue...
Narinig ko ang pagpupumiglas ni Levi. Then, I started to sing using the heavenly language, that I don't understand but only the Holy Spirit who is interceding with my prayers.
I can hear Levi's grumble and cries...
And then with a snap... the language I know came back.
"In the name of Jesus, come out of him!"
Nagmulat ako ng mata. Nakita ko kung paano halos humalik ang mukha niya sa lupa. Rinig na rinig ko ang malalakas niyang pag-ubo. Lima, sampu... hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses ang pag-ubo niya.
Maya-maya pa'y unti-unti siyang tumahimik. Naglupasay siya sa lupa at tumitig sa madilim na kalangitan. Napatingala rin ako at nakita ko ang pagkislap ng mga bituin.
"R-Rishell," paos niyang sambit.
Bigla nalang pumayapa ang hangin. Unti-unting humupa ang mabilis na tibok ng puso ko.
"Levi..." Dinaluhan ko siya at inupo. "Ayos ka lang ba?"
Marahan siyang ngumiti. "Maraming salamat."
"It's Jesus who freed you."
"But you don't have to do that..."
"What do you mean?"
Unti-unting naglakbay ang tingin niya hanggang magtama ang tingin naming dalawa. Inabot niya ang pisngi ko at marahang hinapos. "You should know that I've sold my soul."
"Y-Yes, I know. But... Jesus can make you free from that bondage. You just have to turn to Jesus and He will make you free. His blood will cover your sin."
Ngumiti siya. "I know that, Rishell. But I still chose to sell my soul." Umubo siya. "R-Rishell, I was once a believer. I am part of church ministry. I was a worship leader back then. I have partaken with the power of the Holy Spirit, just like you did."
"W-What?"
"Rishell, I am once saved and now I can not be renewed again. I have put Christ in an open shame. For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, And have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, If they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame (Hebrews 6:4-6).
For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgement, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries (Hebrews 10:26-27).
I know that He is the Lord, but I have decided to follow the cult. And you can't change it, Rishell."
"You mean... you know the truth all this time yet you still submit to the enemy?"
Naluha siya bigla pero humalakhak. "Yes. After my parents died, I have been so indifferent with God. I started to live in a sinful life. And one day, I could no longer feel the Holy Spirit. I sank deep in the depths of sin, Rishell. Then the cult offered me home and I vowed my life to them. I am bounded, Rishell. I am bounded."
Napakurap ako bigla nang manlabo ang paningin ko. "Why did you do that? Why did you d-do that, Levi!"
"It is my will, Rishell."
Sinapo ko ang mukha at humagulgol. "Akala ko, a-akala ko kung makakalaya ka na mula sa kanila. Umasa ako, Levi! Umasa ako!"
"You still love me?"
Inalis ko ang kamay sa mukha at bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Levi. Nakatitig siya sa akin. Stars reflected in his eyes. Lumunok ako at tumitig sa mga mata niya. "After I encountered Jesus, I have known the true meaning of love. And I realized that I don't love you, Levi. It was all in my mind. I only like the idea of loving you."
Sinapo niya ang magkabila kong pisngi. "Good. Now go. Leave me alone."
"Levi..."
"The reason why I didn't let you get contract-binding too soon with them is that I still want your peace. I live in constant fear, Rishell. But you came and ease those fear. I want you to stay who you are because of your purity."
"Jesus can ---"
"I know that He can, Rishell. But I will choose the cult. This is my decision and you can't change it. Go now."
"Levi..."
"Do not wander far from your God. He's the one who will protect you and guide you. Don't choose temporary pleasures. Choose to be with God in eternity, Rishell."
Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at bumuntong-hinga. "Goodbye. Just know that it's not yet too late, Levi. You can go back to God anytime. Just humble yourself in front of Him and ask for forgiveness. Jesus is stronger than the darkness. If He will convict you to repent, I pray that you will repent and follow Jesus."
Tahimik akong pumihit at naglakad pabalik sa bahay. Dumaan ako sa gilid dahil alam kong naka-lock na ang backdoor sa mga oras na 'to.
Pinakinggan ko ang malutong na tunog sa tuwing umaapak ako sa tuyong mga dahon. Malamig ang hangin sa balat ko. Niyakap ko ang sarili at mas binilisan ang lakad.
Nakita ko si Engineer sa patio hindi kalayuan sa fountain na nasa harap ng bahay. Nakatingin siya sa malayo habang nakaupo't nakahalukipkip.
Dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa upuang bakante sa gilid niya at naupo. "Kumusta ang paghahanap mo ng ebidensya?" tanong ko.
"Dead end."
"You gave up?"
"There's a note written on Jonaira's notebook. Nakita 'yon ni Jamaica last month. It affirms the investigation. Jonaira is suicidal. The note was about Jonaira's dream to end her life." Sumulyap siya sa akin. "That is the biggest evidence that what happened was a suicide. The victim was willing to end her life. The only difference was that someone did the job. I can't manipulate evidences, Rishell."
Napayuko ako. Alam ko ang sinasabi niya. Pero... "Sino ang pumatay sa kaniya?"
"We don't know. But Tita Rosana want the case to remain close." Mapait na ngumiti si Lyndon. "Gusto na niyang matahimik ang kaso. Sawa na siyang alahanin ang nangyari kay Jonaira. Wala kaming magagawa riyan kung si Tita na mismo ang may ayaw."
"That's... sad."
Kinuha niya ang tasa at sumimsim. Ngayon ko lang napansin nasa mesa pa rin ang teakettle. "But what happened in Arbor, remains mystery to me." Sumulyap na naman siya sa akin. "Won't you tell me your part?"
"What is good in telling you the truth if you still can't find the victim? Prosecution office will never prosecute a suspect unless there is a victim that needs justice. Where is your victim, Engineer? And who will prosecute a victimless crime?"
Tumango siya. Tumaas ang sulok ng labi at natawa. "You have a point, Miss Larica."
Iniwas ko ang tingin sa madilim na kakahuyan sa malayo. Nakabukas ang malaking ilaw sa gate at kita ko ang ilang guards na nag-uusap.
Nagdikit nang husto ang mga labi ko at pinaglaruan ang dulo ng buhok ko. Kung hahanapin ko ang bangkay ni Seariel, ibig sabihin... babangga ako sa isang pader na nagpapatakbo sa mundo. Kaya ko bang bumangga sa pader?
At kung ang kampo ng biktima ay tahimik, anong magagawa ng isang witness sa kaso kung hindi dudulog sa korte ang kampo ng biktima?