CHAPTER 39

Chapter 39

Lost consciousness

He embraced me tightly as his tears kept on flowing non-stop. Idiniin niya ang ulo niya sa aking leeg at ramdam na ramdam ko ang bawat pagpatak ng luha niya. I tapped his back, and my other hand brushes his hair while I keep myself silent.

Sumasakit ang puso ko sa nakikita ko ngayon. He is in his vulnerable state. Right now, I am the only one who witnesses the pain that he’s been feeling and keeping for a long time. Hindi man niya sinasabi ang tunay niyang nararamdaman ngayon ay alam ko na nasasaktan siya ngayon.

It pains me to see my love crying—the who is stronger than me crying. Being silent in this kind of situation is all I can do right now. I will let him cry all the pain until he felt better.

Ilang minuto na kami dito sa labas ng bahay nila at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin siya tumitigil sa pag-iyak. Niyakap ko lang siya ng nakapahigpit hanggang sa tumahan na siya.

Sometimes, being silent is a way of comfort too.

Inangat na niya ang kaniyang ulo at pinunasan ang luha niya. Hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya. Tumingkayad ako at hinalikan ang dalawang mga mata niya.

“Just let it cry, love. You don’t have to pretend that you’re stronger when you are really breaking inside,” I told him softly.

“I am sorry, love that you have to witness all of this.”

Agad ko siyang inilingan at hinalikan bago nginitian.

“You don’t need to apologize, Reeve. Don’t apologize for the things that out of your control. We are humans, and as human being nasasaktan din tayo. Hinidi sa lahat ng oras ay kailangang maging malakas lang. It’s okay to be weak, and nothing’s wrong with that.”

Being weak is also being strong. Kasi alam mo sa sarili mo na hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay kaya mo. Showing your weakness doesn’t mean that you are weak. You just have to embrace it as it will also become your strength to become stronger.

“Still, I am sorry because of what my family has done to you. They treated you like trash in front of me. They didn’t accept and respect you.” Pain crosses his eyes. He looked away and bit the inside of his cheeks.

What his family did to me wasn’t okay at all. It was a slap to my face that he didn’t want me for their son. It was obvious right from the start because Joana was there, and his mother was very vocal about it. Pero hindi niya ‘yon kasalanan. It was out of our control anymore at it was his parent’s decision.

“Let’s not be sorry for the things that out of our control, right? What they did to me wasn’t your fault and stopped being responsible for it,” I said, “besides, I saw it coming already and sanay na ako. I’ve experienced it before eh,” I joked.

Kahit na ang totoo ay masakit pa rin sa akin. I know we don’t need anyone’s approval for our love. Kaso iba pa rin kapag tanggap ka ng pamilya ng taong mahal mo.

If past life exixts ano kayang ginawa ko no’n at ganito na lamang akong tratuhin ng pamilya ng taong mahal ko. Was I a bad child? A rebel child? To be treated like this in my life.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I told you, you deserve the best, and I am going to give it to you,” he softly uttered and kissed the top of my head.

“Nasabi ko na ba sa’yo na ganito rin ang trato sa akin ng pamilya ni Christoph. I am treated like trash, either—the same situation with different people. I am not welcome. And what happened tonight reminds me of that day. Pero iba ngayon at alam kong hindi mo ako iiwan. I know we will both fight for this,” I shared as it somehow relieves me.

“I will fight for you no matter what will happen, Neve.”

After that we went home. Hindi kayang mag drive ni Reeve dahil hanggang ngayon ay nanghihina pa rin siya sa mga pangyayari kaya nagpahatid na lang kami sa driver nila. Hindi siya umuwi sa bahay ng kaniyang lolo at lola at sumama dito sa akin.

I treated his wound the moment we enter my apartment. Tahimik lamang ako at siya tahimik din na pinagmamasdan ang bawat galaw ko. I was about to stand and clean the mess when he suddenly lifted and made me sit in between of his legs.

“What are you doing?” I asked, smirking.

“I have a question to asked you, and it is related to my mother,” seryoso niyang saad.

“What did my mother told you when you happen to answer her call last time?” bigla niyang tanong.

“W-wala. Hinanap ka niya sa akin ‘yon lang,” I lied.

“Don’t lie to me, and you don’t need to cover her up. I know she did tell you something. Kaya lutang ko no’ng lumabas tayo,” dagdag niya pa at deretsong nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

Iniwas ko ang tingin at kinagat ang ibabang labi. Akala ko wala lang sa kaniya ‘yon kaso naalala niya pa pala. Akala ko hindi na niya papansinin ‘yon at ipagsawalang bahala na lang ‘yon ngunit ito ako ngayon hindi alam kung sasabihin ko ba o hindi.

“Uhmm…”

“Spill it, Neve. Don’t be scared,” pagpililit niya at mas lalong nilapit ang katawan ko sa kaniya.

Hindi ko gustong magkalamat na naman ang relasyon niya sa kaniyang ina kung sasabihin kong ininsulto niya ako no’n. As much as possible, I wanted to avoid this.

And about the promise— mukhang alam ko naman din kung ano ang ibig sabihin nito.

“She told me it was impossible for you to have a girlfriend, and she mentioned the promise thing,” I stated, leaving the part when she insulted me of being delusional.

“That’s it? Wala na? She didn’t insult you or what?” dagdag niya pang tanong.

“Wala na, Reeve. Ano ka ba ‘yan lang ang sinabi niya sa akin no’n at pagkatapos no’n ay hinanap ka na niya sa akin,” I smiled to cover up my lies.

“Based on what I have witnessed this night, you are not on good terms with your parents. Ito ba ang rason kung bakit sa tuwing sinusubukan kong kausapin ka tungkol sa kanila ay palagi mong linilihis ang usapan,” pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

“Was it because of the course you take?” medyo may pagdadalawang isip kong tanong.

“Partly, yes. They didn’t support me in being a doctor. They wanted me to become something I don’t want to be— being an engineer. They believe I was more suitable in that field than being a doctor, yet I was eager to follow what I wanted, so I left and continue studying here,” he shared.

“And the promise she was talking about. It was an old promise. I never thought she would take it seriously,” he uttered, “anyway, let’s sleep and forget what happened tonight.”

So he was suffering all alone. Pero kahit gano’n ay nagawa niya pa ring ipaglaban ang pangarap niya. Instead of following what his parents wanted to be, he refused and took his own path.

Parents are supposed to guide us and not to decide for us. Their so-called happiness for us might not be really our happiness. It might be our agony.

His parents might not be supportive pero nandito ako. I am here to support him no matter what. Support his decision and what he wanted to be. If he thinks that the world is against him, I want him to remember that I am here always by his side.

Pagkatapos kong linisin ang kalat ay tumungo na ako sa kwarto at naubutang payapa siyang natutulog sa kama ko. He’s really tired. Pinatay ko na ang ilaw at tumabi sa kaniya.

Before I closed my eyes, I kissed his cheeks and whispered, “Goodnight Reeve, dream of me.”

Sa mga nagdaang araw ay payapa kami maliban na lang sa acads. Being a nursing student wasn’t easy as we had to deal with unexpected quizzes, laboratory quizzes, and practicum.

“Bakit kung saan isang taon na lang para maka graduate ako ay tila pinapahirapan ako! Ahhh! I thought I already mastered it pero tengga pa rin pala talaga ako pag actual na!” reklamo ni Althea.

“Gurl, di ata tayo gustong pa gradwetin ng mga prof natin dito at balak na paulitin ng isang sem. Ang hirap-hirap legit!” segunda ni Hannah.

“Ikaw Henzy? Di ka man lang nahirapan kahit katiting?” nakangiwing tanong ni Althea.

“Ano tingon niyo sa akin? Alam lahat?” sagot ko.

“Eh ang chill-chill mo r’yan eh. Parang easy lang sa’yo ang lahat. Di ata kinakabahan sa magiging resulta ng laboratory quiz eh,” si Zenneth.

“Wow? Nagsalita ang pinakamatalino ah,” I mocked her.

“Chill lang kasi kayo. Tapos na ang quiz kaya dapat chill na. Kabahan na lang ulit kayo kapag dumating na ang result,” I joked, which made them smirked at me.

“Nice joke, Henzy,” blankong expressyon ni Renaissa.

“Totoo naman kasi! Kapag tapos na ang quiz ‘wag niyo ng paka stressan ‘yan. Ma stress kayo sa result kasi alam niyo ‘yong ginawa niyo!” dagdag ko pa.

“Nakakatulong siya, Henz. Maraming salamat,” Hannah mocked.

“Ito naman ‘di mabiro. Idaan niyo na lang sa pagkain ‘yan. Stress eating kumbaga,” sabay abot sa kanila ng lasagna ko.

“I know you did your best guys, and that’s enough. I know you can ace the lab quiz don’t worry, and have faith in yourself,” I cheered them up.

“Nahirapan din naman ako kanina s’yempre ‘di biro ‘yon eh,” I added.

The thing about being in college. Kahit na nakapag-aral ka or you came prepared dito mo talaga mararanasan ang matinding plot twist bilang estudyante.

“Taena dito ko talaga nasabi sa college basta pasado ayos na!” si Althea.

“Pusta ko ga-graduate si Henzy at Zenneth ng flying colors sa atin. Palaging uno ang card eh! Wala ba namang dos do’n,” Hannah suddenly opens up.

“Dean's lister nga silang dalawa eh diba? Simula no’ng first year hanggang ngayon ‘di nawawala sa listahan kaya ga-graduate talaga ‘yan sila ng flying colors,” Althea agreed.

“Ang importante maka graduate tayong lahat at sabay-sabay na aakyat sa stage kaya fighting guys! ‘Wag panghinaan ng loob,” Renaissa cheered up.

Pagkatapos pag-usapan ang tungkol sa quiz ay nag-usap naman sila ng kung ano-ano. Medyo hindi ko naintindihan ang pinag-uusapan kaya nakikitawa na lang ako kahit walang na iintindihan.

“Kamusta ‘yong meet the parent’s Henzy?” Renaissa suddenly brought up the topic.

“It’s okay. We just simply ate,” I lied and continue eating my food.

Hindi ko gusto na pati sila ay ma i-istress sa ginawa ng pamilya ni Reeve sa akin. I know what would be their reaction if they knew about this. Hiding-hindi nila ito papalipasin.

What my friends hate the most is when someone would insult us.

“Iyon lang? Wala na kayong ginawa?” si Althea na busagot ang mukha at tila hindi makapaniwala.

Tumango ako, “Oo ‘yon lang. We talked a bit and that’s all,” I lied again.

“So, kailan ang kasal?” Hannah butt in.

“Kapag break na kayo ni Kendrick,” biro ko na siyang ikinabusangot ng mukha niya at mahinang hinampas ako.

“Walang ganyanan mare. Nananihimik relasyon namin ni Kendrick dito eh.”

Nakatikim ng batok si Hannah mula kay Zenneth at pinagsabihan ito, “Kasal-kasal ka r’yan maging doctor ka muna hoy!”

“Ito naman ang seseryoso niyo masyado eh! Nagbibiro nga lang eh. Peo diba do’n din naman ang punta nila. Hindi naman sila pumasok sa isang relasyon para sa laro-laro lang. Asus… I know they see each other in the future na,” she told us, particularly to me.

“Dadating din kami d’yan sa tamang panahon at isa pa. My dream first over anything. Mas nauna ang pangarap ko bago pumasok si Reeve sa buhay ko kaya mas uunahin ko muna ‘yon bago ang iba,” I told them before fixing myself.

I still have my last class and the whole afternoon would be my free time. Hindi kami magkikita ni Reeve ngayon dahil sa mga tambak niyang quizzes and oral recit. I decided not to meet him for him to focus more on his quiz though I know he would still ace it.

“Ikaw na ang may pangarap te! Ikaw na talaga,” si Althea at pumalakpak pa.

“Oo naman! ‘Di ako kagaya sa’yo na puro Marc lang ang nasa isip lagi,” I teased her.

“Uy! ‘Wag kang ano… pangarap ko rin ‘yon!” depensa niya pa.

Natawa na lang ako sa sagot niya at nagpaalam na sa kanila. Kung no’ng first sem nauna akong nag pa enroll ke’sa sa kanila ngayon second sem naman ay ako ang nahuli. Kung kaya’t may mga classes ako na hindi ko na ka-klase si Renaissa unlike sa first sem na mag ka-klase kaming dalawa sa lahat.

This class I am attending isn’t in line with my course, it was our P.E. Kaya tamad na tamad akong nakikinig sa lecture ng prof namin sa harap. I had enough of my P.E since junior highschool days ‘till college ay hindi pa rin ako tinatantana ng subject na ‘to.

I had no choice but to attend this class dahil sa practicum na magaganap sa susunod na araw. To think that I am bombarded with quizzes and activities ay kailangan ko pang mag practice para dito.

It’s a good thing na lang na si Althea ay volleyball player no’ng highschool kaya sa kaniya na lang ako magpapaturo.

“Hirap na hirap na nga ako sa mga quizzes sa kursong kinuha ko ay dadagdag pa ‘tong subject na ‘to,” mahinag reklamo ng katabi ko na paniguradong ako lang ang nakakarining.

“Bakit ba kasi ganito ang sistema ng Pilipinas. Ano ‘to hahampasin ko muna pasyente ko bago ko sila asikasuhin?” dagdag niya pa.

I keep my mouth silent and decided not to talk back to her. Lihim na lang akong napatawa sa kinauupuan ko at nakinig na lamang kahit ang totoo n’yan ay wala akong maintindihan.

To think that I got a low grade in my P.E subject ay tamad pa akong makinig. P.E subject was my lowest grades na muntik ng sumira sa card ko, but thank God hindi naman siya gaanong kababa talaga.

“I hope you have learned something today and see you on Friday for your practicum. I expect you’d play well,” she bid her goodbye and stormed out.

Lahat ng mga kasama ko sa loob ay nagsisiyahan na dahil tapos na ang klase. Wala akong kilala sa mga estudyante rito kaya tahimik akong lumabas.

My phone beeped which made me stopped from walking. Kinuha ko ito sa loob ng bag ko at tiningnan kung sino ang nag text sa akin. I glance at my watch to see if Reeve’s already done with his classes. Pero hindi pa at may natitirang isang oras pa para sa subject niya ngayon kaya hindi siya nag text sa akin.

I unconsciously swipe my phone and open the message. It was from an unknown number, but I think I know who is this person is.

Unknown:

I wanted to talk to you regarding my attitude last time. Meet me at Wylonathyl Café tomorrow at 9:00 am.

PS: Don’t tell my son about this. This is between you and me.

I refused to believe that this meeting tomorrow has nothing to do with my relationship with his son. I wanted to believe she really meant what she stated in her message. That somehow, she did really realize what she did that night was wrong. Kahit hindi na sa akin at sa anak na niya na lang.

His son was suffering inside, and I hope somehow she will reflect it as his mother. If she does really love his son she should accept and support what his son wanted.

But, knowing that she doesn’t want his son to know our meet-up tomorrow is enough for me to know that she has an ulterior motive. And whatever that is I hope after this it won’t affect our relationship.

That day ay hindi talaga kami nagkita ni Reeve. It was a good thing also cause after my class I directly went home to rest. I don’t know but I just felt tired that day and the rest that I need was to sleep.

Kahit na ang pahinga ko talaga ay si Reeve. Every time we felt tired from our classes all we have to do was rest within each other arms. Find the comfort of being together.

Since he came into my life he became my rest and the same time my comfort too.

Today is my meet-up with his mom. As she stated in her message I didn't tell Reeve about this matter. He texted me earlier, he wanted us to go out. Pero naghanap ako ng rason para tanggihan siya. Good thing he bit my white lies. At hindi na nagtanong pa. I told him to just rest for this day and we will go out the next day.

For the last time, I observed myself in the mirror. I wore a maroon puffed sleeve off-shoulder top partnered with white high pants shorts. I insert it to define my curves. I slightly curled my hair and put light make-up on my face.

My outfit today is perfect for an Instagram post kaso ay wala na akong oras upang mag kuhanan ng litrato ang sarili dahil malapit na mag alas nuwebe.

Nang makarating na sa lokasyon ay huminga muna ako ng malalim at dahan-dahan na binuksan ang pinto. The moment I enter inside the scent of brewed coffee softly enters my nostrils. Hindi agad nakaalis sa posisyon ko at dinama ang amoy.

After smelling the aroma of the coffee my eyes wandered inside. Walang masyadong tao ngayon dahil maaga pa and this café targets were the students.

After a minute of wandering inside, I already found her. She was sipping on her coffee with her legs crossed. The moment she saw me she elegantly places the cup on the table.

I breathe deeply and continue walking where she was in. Dere-deretso lang ang tingin at lakad ko papunta sa kaniya. Unlike last time, I didn’t feel any nervousness today instead, I proudly walked towards her.

“Good morning, Ma’am. I’m sorry for being late,” agad kong bungad sa kaniya.

“No, you’re in time. I was just early. Have a seat.”

I obeyed her order and take m position. I front of me there was a coffee already. Tinitigan ko muna ‘yon ng matagal bago ko binaling ang tingin sa kaniya pabalik.

“I order you a coffee already since I just want to have a quick talk to you,” she said when she noticed me looking at the coffee.

“Thank you,” I said and took a sip.

Now that I can see her face up close, I can see the resemblance of her face to Reeve. Their eyes down to his mouth were all copied by his son. Reeve’s a carbon copy of her face.

“I won’t beat around the bush. I am not sorry for what I have done to you that night,” walang preno niyang sabi.

Nilapag ko ang tasa at kumunot ang noo dahil sa sinabi niya. What was her text message mean? So, I just assume that she will somehow apologize, but do I expect from her? She’s not someone who would easily apologize. And that’s how different Reeve to her.

“I guess I just assume that somehow you would apologize for what you have done,” I stated.

“I know also that you aren’t dense not to notice by now. I am not saying my apologies to anyone. My apologies are reserved for someone who deserves to receive it,” she raised her brow to me.

“Ma’am, I don't have any problem if you don’t want to apologize to me, but then at least save your precious apologies to your son.”

“And why is that?” still raising her brow at me.

“See for yourself the reason why you need to apologize for him. If you wanted to maintain a good relationship with your son then at least respect him as your child,” seryoso kong saad sa kaniya.

“You know what honey? I admire your braveness, but I have to remind you, young lady, you aren’t special to interfere with our problem.”

“Besides, hindi ka rin naman magtatagal sa anak ko. I want you to break-up with my son as soon as possible. I’m sure your feelings aren’t that deep enough. You can easily move on.”

Napaawang ako. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe she stills interfere with our relationship. And how can she say that my feelings aren’t that deep kaya madali lang ako makaka-move on?

“Hear it right? I want you to break-up with him,” sabi niya pa. Napakuyom ang ang mga kamao ko sa ilalalim ng mesa at nagpipigil ng galit.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you but you have no right to interfere with my relationship with your son. And also, you have no right to justify my love for your son.”

She laughed hastily, “No doubt. You are just like your mother. So firmed. I am not actually doing this without a purpose, lady. I am doing this because I don’t want my son to be a victim of yours just like what your mother did to us.”

Upon mentioning my mother ay mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko.

Anong kinalaman ng ina ko dito? Victim? What victim is she talking about.

“Oh, I guess you still don’t know ha. Anyway, I am not going to tell you. Discover it for yourself. But for now, I want you to break-up with my son,” she firmly uttered.

Ininom ko ang natirang kape bago siya sinagot, “I’m sorry to disappoint you again, but I will never grant your request. We love each other and if you really love your son you will respect our relationship.”

Ito pala ang main agenda ng pagkikita namin ngayon. Ang hiwalayan ang anak niya. But I am sorry to disappoint her cause I won’t ever do it. We promised to fight with each other kahit ano pa ‘yan.

“Well let’s see if she will choose you over me. Baka nakakalimutan mong ina ako,” she proudly said.

Plastik akong tumawa. Ayokong makipagsagutan sa kaniya kaso masyado niya akong pi-no-provoke to talk back to her.

“Ina ka nga pero hindi mo naman kayang magpaka ina sa anak mo. You’re just his mother by blood but not by heart.”

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Her face started to red because of anger. Nag-uusok ang mga tingin na ipinupukol niya sa akin. I hit the spot… kaya ganito siya kagalit ngayon.

“How dare you!” nangangaligti niyang sigaw.

“If you have nothing to say anymore, Ma’am then I’ll excuse myself.” Hinablot ko ang bag ko at biglang tumayo. Nang tumayo ako ay bigla akong naramdama ng hilo. Pinilig ko ang ulo nagbabakasali na maalis pero mas lumala lang ito.

I tried to walk only to feel that everyone was spinning around me. Napahawak ako sa upuan at masyadong malala ang pagkahilo ko.

I look at the coffee I drank. Damn… she put something on the coffee.

“I will do everything to destroy your relationship. You can’t be with my son. You can’t be him. I won’t allow it… ever..”

Those are the last words I heard before I lost consciousness.