Mahabang sandali na natahimik lang sila habang nakatitig sa isa’t isa. Mayamaya nagbago ang facial expression ni James, naningkit ang mga mata. “Iyan ba ang dahilan kaya kahit may gusto ka sa bestfriend mo hindi ka gumawa ng paraan para magbago ang relasyon ninyong dalawa? Kaya mas pinili mo magkaroon ng unrequited love sa isang lalaki nang mahabang panahon hanggang magdesisyon siyang magpapakasal na siya?”
Nagulat si Sasha na bigla nito binanggit ang tungkol kay Hosea. Ni hindi niya alam na natatandaan pa pala nito ang bestfriend niya. Mukhang nabasa ni James ang takbo ng isip niya kasi sumimangot ito at sinabing, “Hindi ko basta makakalimutan ang lalaking iyon. Siya ang dahilan kaya nasa hotel bar ka at nagpapakasaling. Even after we fucked so many times that night he was still in your mind. Besides nakausap ko siya sa cellphone nang tawagan ka niya, remember? Natatandaan ko pa nga pati boses niya.”
Napanganga siya at napatitig kay James. “Bakit parang inis na inis ka?” hindi niya napigilan itanong.
Natigilan ang binata at parang noon lang din narealize na nagtaas na ito ng boses. Tumalim ang tingin sa kaniya ni James. “I just don’t like the way you are putting yourself down. Na para bang masyado siyang mataas para sa ‘yo. You’re not that bad so stop thinking like that.”
Kumabog ang dibdib ni Sasha at bago pa niya napigilan ang sarili ay napangiti na. “I’m not that bad? Really?”
Inis na umungol si James, mukhang napikon na kasi biglang tumayo. Maagap na nahawakan niya ang magkabilang braso nito. “Saan ka pupunta?”
“Magliligpit ng pinagkainan,” sabi nito sa pamaktol na tono na ngayon lang narinig ni Sasha mula rito. Sigurado siya lalo ito mapipikon kung sasabihin niya ng malakas pero ang adorable para sa kaniya ng bagong side na ito ni James Salgado.
“Hindi pa ako tapos kumain. I still need my dessert.”
Kumunot ang noo ng binata at napasulyap sa lamesa. “Kanina mo pa naubos ang dessert mo.”
Totoo naman. Inuna niya kasi kainin iyon kaysa sa kanin at ulam. Hinintay niyang bumalik ang tingin ni James sa kaniya bago siya ngumiti. “Sino namang may sabi na iyan ang dessert na gusto ko?”
Ang mga kamay niyang nasa braso nito, marahang humaplos pababa hanggang mapunta sa waistband ng suot nitong sweatpants. Nagbago ang facial expression ni James at naging mainit ang titig, patunay na alam nito kung ano ang balak niyang gawin. She slowly slid her hand down and softly palmed his manhood. She smiled when she realized it was already semi-hard.
Sumikdo ang puso niya sa excitement nang umangat sa ulo niya ang isang kamay ni James, ang mga daliri nito maingat na sumabunot sa buhok niya. “Are you really going to do that after all the things I told you?”
Tumaas ang mga kilay ni Sasha. “That was all in the past, James. Ang ikaw na nasa harapan ko ngayon, iba na sa lalaking nasa mga kuwento mo. I’m not saying you are a good person now because you’re not.” Si James naman ang tumaas ang mga kilay at kahit seryoso ang mukha ay sandaling kumislap ang amusement sa mga mata.
“But I like you,” sabi niya bago pa niya napigilan ang sarili. Naramdaman niyang nagulat ang binata, na-tense kasi ang katawan nito at humigpit ang hawak sa buhok niya. Deep inside nataranta si Sasha at naduwag kaya mabilis niyang dinugtong. “And I like your dick.”
Ilang segundong napatitig sa kaniya si James bago biglang natawa. Uminit ang mukha niya pero itinaas ang noo. “What? I’m giving you a compliment.”
Tumatawa pa rin na tumango ito. “Fine. Salamat.” Bahagya nitong hinila ang buhok niya hanggang mapatingala siya. Pagkatapos yumuko ito at mariin siyang hinalikan sa mga labi. Napaungol si Sasha at napakapit sa balakang nito nang gigil na kagatin nito ang ibabang labi niya bago humagod ang dila nito roon upang pawiin ang kirot.
“Seryoso ako Sasha,” bulong ni James nang bahagya nitong ilayo ang mga labi sa kaniya. “Tama ka na hindi na ako ang dating James Salgado. Two years of weekly visits to a psychiatrist alone and with my brother changed me a little. But I am still not totally normal, whatever the fuck that means. I might not hate women as much as I did before but I still don’t like being involved with them. Most of all I still prefer a rough, hard and kinky fuck than vanilla sex.”
Napatitig si Sasha sa binata. “At bakit mo sinasabi sa akin ang lahat ng iyan?” mahinang tanong niya kasi bigla para siyang hindi makahinga kasi parang may mga paru-parong lumilipad sa sikmura niya.
Marahang pinaraan ni James ang hintuturo sa kanyang mga labi. “I told you since the first time we met that I like your mouth, Sasha. Once you suck my cock I will never let go of you until we both got tired of each other. Kakailanganin mo magpaalam sa unrequited love mo sa bestfriend mo dahil ayoko na may kahati.”
Nahigit ni Sasha ang hininga kasi nakumpirma nga ang hinala niya. He didn’t say it directly but he was asking for exclusivity. Alam niya na physical relationship lang ang gusto nito sa kaniya pero natuwa pa rin siya.
“Make up your mind Sasha,” sabi ni James kasi matagal na siyang tahimik lang na nakatitig dito.
Hindi siya sumagot. Sa halip hinawakan niya ang waistband ng sweatpants nito at hindi pinuputol ang eye contact nila na maingat niya iyong binata. Huminga ito ng malalim, naningkit ang mga mata at humigpit ang hawak sa buhok niya nang ipaikot niya ang dalawang kamay sa kahabaan nito. Pagkatapos matamis na ngumiti si Sasha.
“You might regret this choice later, sweetheart,” he almost moaned the words as she began to pump his hard length with her hands. And instead of answering him with words she put him inside her mouth.
“Fuck Sasha,” he groaned as he tightened his hold in her hair. She bobbed her head, pulling him in and out of her mouth in a leisurely rhythm. When he began to thrust into her mouth she moved her head away. Frustrated na umungol si James.
Tiningala niya ito at ngumisi. “Not so fast.” Then she felt the base of his now rock hard cock and began to lick him all over. She teased the crown of his manhood, made sure all of his length is wet with her saliva and then she went lower and took his balls into her mouth.
“Fuck. That dirty pretty mouth of yours is really –” hindi na nito natapos ang sasabihin, humigpit lang lalo ang hawak sa buhok niya. Binilan kasi ni Sasha ang galaw ng mga kamay at labi niya.
She gave his scrotum one more lick before she have her attention to his length again. She slid it into her mouth again, sucking the hot and hard flesh until the tip reached the back of her throat. Her tongue worked the underside before lightly grazing it with her teeth.
“Oh holy mother of – shit, Sasha… amazing… fuck,” he groaned loudly as he began to thrust. This time she held on to his strong thighs and allowed him to shallowly fuck her mouth. After a while she felt him getting hotter and bigger, a sign that he’s getting close. She became more determined. She sucked him as deep as she could and tried her best to control her gag reflex. He groaned and suddenly both of his hands held her head and stopped moving.
Disoriented na napatingala si Sasha. Nakatitig ito sa kaniya, ang mga mata nito puno ng pagnanasa at iba pang emosyon na nagpabilis sa tibok ng puso niya “Is it alright if I go faster?” paos na tanong nito, halatang malapit na maputol ang ga hiblang self-control.
Sumikdo ang puso niya. The fact that he was asking for her permission both surprised and touch her. She released his length and said, “It’s okay. You can come inside too.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata nito. “Sigurado ka?”
“Oo nga. I want to taste you.”
Napahinga ito ng malalim at parang magsasalita pa yata kaya ibinalik niya ang pagkalalaki nito sa bibig niya. That shut him up. She smirked before taking him deep. He groaned and started to thrust harder and rougher than before. She held on to his thighs and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. She loves the sound of his labored breaths and pleasured groans. She loves the feel of his length inside her mouth as it grew even hotter and the skin felt tighter than before.
“Sasha I’m going to come,” ungol ni James.
She opened her mouth as wide as she could to accommodate his uncontrolled thrust. Then her hand went to his balls and massaged them. That set him off. He groaned and spilled his juices directly to her throat. It felt as if it will not stop as his whole body shook. Sasha looked up to see his face and her heart squeezed when she saw that his eyes were tightly closed in total surrender.
Iyon ang unang beses na pumikit ito habang magkasama sila. Siguro sa iba walang kaso iyon pero para kay Sasha, big deal iyon. It was the first time he was totally unguarded while he was with her. Mula pa noong nasa beach resort sila at nakita niyang hindi nito pinipikit ang mga mata kahit habang nagka-climax. In her mind she thought James Salgado is like a tiger. Tigers don’t easily close their eyes because losing vision lowers its defense. Pumipikit lang ang mga tigre kapag komportable at safe ang pakiramdam nila.
Her heart swelled as she stared at his face, so defenseless and so extraordinarily beautiful. He was a man with deep scars. He was a man who is still battling his demons. He was all the bad things mothers warn their daughters about. He was a sinner and he was definitely going to be bad for her and for her carefully planned life. But at that moment she didn’t care. He might be chaotic but he’s going to be her chaos. Just hers.