“You sure?” I asked just to be confirmed.
“Yeah..”
Utterly bewildered by him, I couldn't ask anything as he cut the call. I didn’t get his demeanor, what happened to him?
I shook my head and told Jayden to go to a cafe to have a coffee.
“I thought you wouldn’t come..” Jayden said. My mind is still stuck on that behavior of Ryan.
“Rebecca?” Jayden called me again. Interrupting my thoughts,
“Yes?” I asked.
"Nothing. Tell me about yourself? You seem changed.” He said.
I smiled and looked down, “Someone taught me that I shouldn’t hide myself anymore.”
“Ryan, isn’t it?” He asked.
“Who else would it be?” I asked with a nervous laugh.
“So.. have you confessed that you love him?” my lips formed. Thin line as I looked away and didn't reply.
"Or... Are you still unaware of the words your silence speaks?" He asked. I wrapped my fingers around my mug and smiled sadly.
"The melody of beautiful devastation; It changed. There's a strange silence between us now, Jayden. Like Ryan wanted to talk about something but couldn't. Something is eating him up and I think I know what is it" I said in a faint voice.
"Then what is it? " He asked, intrigued.
My suicide. I smiled in sorrow and remained silent and took a sip of my coffee.
"You need to drown yourself to see the depth of the ocean of despair." He explained.
"And what if there's no return from that place? " I asked, looking at him.
"Maybe you found home there?"
"I know where my home is." I enunciate looking at him with a genuine smile.
"What if that home neglects you?" I laughed and shook my head.
"Then the home will crumble apart, crushing me along with it."
"You are quite clever." he complimented.
"I know. We never talked, that's why you never came to know." I said with a smirk.
We both chuckled and talked about trivial stuff then as time passed and his time to go for work and me for home came.
My rest of the day went monotonous. In the evening, Ryan came, “Welcome home!” I greeted him with a smile. I cannot believe his presence.
He hummed as I asked, “Tired?” He didn't reply and went to our room. I don’t like it when he doesn’t reply or ignores me.
“Dinner?” I asked, leaning on the door frame.
“Don’t bother me for now, Rebecca. I am tired.” He said irritated.
My lips formed a thin line, perplexed by his change. I remained like that and then he came after freshening up.
“So... I will eat alone..” I trailed off.
“Do whatever you want.” He muttered and laid on the bed.
“...Okay..? ” I said and left.
I wonder what happened to him? Maybe he just had a tired day but then again he agreed to let me go and meet Jayden too.
I shrugged my shoulders and went to have dinner. I had dinner alone, probably for the first time after our marriage when he was conscious, not drunk.
It’s been a week and Ryan is still acting weird. He acts cold. Didn’t talk to me much, came home late and always grumpy. Today is Sunday, so I thought we should go out.
“Ryan!” I called him, rushing to his side with a grin. He was reading a book in the library, fully focused.
“Can we go out?” I asked, putting my phone on the table, placing all my attention towards him. God, I have grown addicted to him.
“No.” He said, monotonously.
“Please.” I whined. He didn’t reply.
“What happened to you!? Why are you not talking?” I said, exasperated.
“Because I am reading.” He said nonchalantly.
I sighed, “And what about other days? Do you have a problem at work?” I asked. No reply.
“Ryan! talk to me damn it!” I shouted, hating his silence.
He closed his book making a thud sound. I smiled widely but he looked at me irritated. I grinned and moved close to him.
“Mr Knight~” I cooed. As expected this name boils his blood.
“Rebecca.” He warned. I clicked my tongue at him and laid my head on his lap. He sighed and put his hand over my head.
“Can we go to the park?” I asked expectantly, smiling happily.
“I said-”
“Please.” I asked, giving him puppy eyes. His eyes went wide. He looked at me for a second but soon regained his posture.
“Okay.” He said, looking away, clearing his throat. I shouted in blithe and hugged him, kissing his cheeks.
Later, We went to the park and now he is using his phone.
I looked at him and then at his phone, he was texting someone writing ‘at park’ before I could see more, he moved his phone away.
“Why are you looking at my phone?” He asked, frowning at my action.
“Because I am your wife, I can… and maybe I am jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“This is getting more attention than me.” I said with a pout.
He remained silent as I asked again, “Who are you talking to by the way?”
He put his phone back in his pocket and smirked, “My mistress.” I
narrowed my eyes at him and replied, “Oh, is that so?”
I took a step towards him, smirking, “My dear husband.”
I moved my hand to his shoulder looking at him with a bewitching look, “I don’t mind committing a murder.” I winked.
“My, that possessive.” He said moving close to my face.
“I won’t tolerate it when it comes to you.” I gave a peck on his lips and pulled away with a giggle. I was about to walk away but he held my wrist and pulled me to him.
I giggled and looked at his exquisite gray eyes. I smiled when I looked at him. I adore him more than my life.
“And what will you do if I vanish from your life?” He asked, looking at me with a hint of seriousness in his eyes which made my heart skip a beat.
It made me feel like he actually meant to do this. My smile faded, my lips parted as I swallowed the lump in my throat and began to whisper sadly.
“You have talked about it today, Ryan. But, never speak about it again.” My voice came out croaked.
“Never talk about it again, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.” I replied honestly.
He let go of me and we both looked away, “Sorry.” He murmured. I took a step closer and held my hands.
“Never leave me." I said feebly, moving his hands close to my face as I kissed his hands.
“I worship you, Ryan” I said, sincerely, looking at him deeply.
He was taken aback. A hint of sadness flashed in his eyes like he was about to lose me, a lot of intense grief like my words hit him like an arrow.
A cloud of penitence hidden in them. He opened his mouth to say something but then someone came.
"Rebecca.” I heard someone calling me. I turned to see Jayden looking at me with a smile.
“Hey. Enjoying the day off?” He asked, walking to us. He greeted Ryan too.
I cling on Ryan's arm and replied cheerfully, “Jayden! Meet my husband, Ryan Knight. I guess you guys are meeting officially for the first time?’ I asked.
They both exchanged looks and shook hands.
“Hi.” They both said at the same time.
A silence fell upon us but then I asked, "We are here for a walk. You?”
“Same.” He replied.
“Do you need anything, Rebecca?” Ryan asked.
I put my index finger under my chin and replied, “Hm.. Maybe an ice-cream.” I mumbled.
"Okay, I’ll get it for you." He said and left me alone with Jayden! Is he out of his mind?!
I swear he has hit his head or something like that! The person he doesn’t want me to meet, he is leaving me alone with him.
“Did something happen to him?” I asked Jayden
“How would I know?” Jayden shrugged his shoulders.
“Yeah.. how would you know.. anyways, Jayden. Nice to meet you here! I will go after Ryan!”
I waved at him and ran after Ryan before listening to Jayden's answer. I had to run before Ryan got out of my sight. I ran after him and jumped into him from behind.
I hugged him tightly which staggered him, “Rebecca?” He arched a brow but I tilted my head cutely and moved as I held his hand.
“What are you doing?” He asked, surprised.
“What? I am holding your hand.” I said as if it was obvious.
“I mean why are you here?” He asked.
“I came here to be with you and you ran off.” I poked his chest.
He sighed as his grip around my hand tightened, my smile grew wider and I felt safer than anything. I felt so secure, like no harm can ever reach me.
The warmth of his hand made me feel like paradise. I looked at him lovingly with my heart beating for him.
‘Only if you imagine how much I love you, how I am lost somewhere in the city of your heart with no intention of coming back.’