Rebecca POV:-
It's been a month and Ryan kept being rude and cold. A needle pricked in my heart when Ryan talks to me like this.
The more I try to not let this get to my heart, the more it stir my mind and hurt me. I need him in my life, I cannot even imagine spending a second without him.
Why don't he just get it that he is my redemption and the thought of losing him breaks my very soul. It gives chills to my core when the thought of Ryan growing tired of me crosses my mind.
It hurts a lot. I tried my best not to cry but I couldn't help it.
“Ryan.. um, sorry to bother you but when will you be home?” I sent the message knowing he will not reply even after seeing it.
He has stopped paying attention to me, comes home late, and goes to work early. Always cold. Doesn't care where I go, who I talk to.
He didn't even react whenever I told him that I met Jayden. Why is being like this? I can bear anyone's hatred but not his. It's unbearable.
I closed my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek followed by a stream of them. A sob escaped my lips, my heart felt like it was hurting from sorrow.
“Please don’t do this to me, Ryan. I can’t do anything without you. I am nothing without you.”
I began to cry, feeling hurt by Ryan's demeanor. I hid my face in my knees to muffle my cries. I remained like that and cried my heart out.
No matter how much tears I shed, the pain in my heart doesn't cease but increases that Ryan is not here to hold me.
When the sound of my cries died down, I remained devoid. I put my cheeks over my knee and closed my eyes but then my phone rang.
It was Papa, I took a glass of water and a few deep breaths to calm myself.
I picked the call and said cheerfully, "Hello, how are you Papa? "
"I am just okay, missing you, my child. You?" My lips formed a thin line. Bad.
"I am very fine.. Just missing you." I said sadly.
I shook my head and quickly asked, "When are you coming to meet me?" He laughed and replied, "And I'm thinking of asking you the same. I wasn't feeling well."
"You okay?"
"Just want to be with my child. Maybe I am getting too old. I guess my time is coming." He laughed but it pissed me off.
"Don’t talk like this. I.. Will come to meet you soon." I scoffed..
"I am waiting for you." He laughed.
"Okay, Papa, I gotta go, Bye. Ryan’s home." I said and cut the call and went to the main hall. I leaned on the column and waited for Ryan to come. After a while, he came.
"Welcome home." I greeted him softly.
"How many times have I told you not to wait for me?" He said coldly, without sparing a glance at me and climbing the stairs.
I walked after him and asked, "Can I go back to my home? Papa-"
"Do whatever you want."
"I just want you to come with me." I mumbled.
"I am busy." He said. I stopped in my tracks and he left. I looked at his back as my heart felt heavy. I gulped and forced a smile.
I served dinner and we had dinner in silence. We slept without holding each other.
There was a strange restraint between us and the more I tried to pull close to him, the further we really got.
An invisible wall is being built between us which is causing me to crumble apart. I want to talk to him about it but he doesn't.
The next day, I woke up late and saw Ryan getting ready.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked, sitting up.
I don't understand just for once, why don't he wear the clothes I hung out for him, why doesn't he understand that it means a lot to me?!
I quickly got up. And picked his tie. "Morning." I greet him with my usual smile. He rolled his eyes at me.
‘Please don't, it hurts.’ I swallowed hard and turned my head away. I was about to wrap a tie around his neck but he stopped me.
"Don't. I can do it myself."
I looked at him innocently, not leaving the tie. He held my hand and was about to take it away but I whispered sternly but dejectedly.
"Don't. Do whatever you want but please don't take away the little right I have left over you." I spoke with in-depth emotions of heartbreak and hurt.
A tear rolled down my cheek, desiring to be wiped off by him, my whole body died to get his solace which he decided to take away from me.
He kept looking at me emotionless and slowly let go of my hand. He took a step back and turned and left, leaving me.
‘Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away? Am I not desirable anymore? Am I a burden?’
I bit my lips and lowered my head, tears threatened to fall but I didn't let them. I took a deep breath and quickly walked out, to bid him goodbye.
“Take-” But he already left, “Care…” I curled my hands in a fist and nibbled on my bottom lip. Trying to stay composed.
I called Marianne and went to meet her. I was sitting on the couch, hugging my knees close to my chest with my eyes closed.
"What happened, Rebecca?"
"Ryan is pushing me away." I said slowly.
"Why?" She asked, rubbing my back.
"I don't know. Marianne, am I not beautiful? Am I not an ideal wife? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, paranoid.
"Of course not." She assured me.
I sniffed and tried my best not to cry but still a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I bit my lips and hid my face in my knees.
“I just want him to hold me. Am I asking too much? You know he is the only support I have. I don’t know where I will go if he can’t hold me.” I asked, sniffling to not cry.
“I thought… He would always be present. He promised he wouldn’t let me break, that he will hold me. He vowed. Am I.. a burden?” I asked sadly.
“No. He must be dealing with upheavals or you know he cannot live without you too.” She whispered but I remained silent.
I don’t know why he was doing this. Can’t he see I need him?